Not your Average Twentysomething..

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear...

2011-10-26T10:12:00.000-07:00

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear... At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says...

C.S. Lewis, "A Grief Observed"

Not long after my last post on here, something very saddening happened in my life (and which effected so many others, too). A very close friend of mine passed away suddenly on Sept 13th. This friend of mine was not just a "friend." He was the light in so many people's eyes. He had an infectious smile and laugh. He was a star that shined so brightly in everyone's lives. He had so much capacity to give and love those around him, that he'd put his own needs aside for those he cared about. He cared deeply and passionately about the welfare of others.

He was just that kind of friend that is so rare in one's life, that when they are gone, the void it leaves in your life can feel insurmountable.

I miss him so much, but know in the wake of his death, I must find inner strength to keep going on and keep his memory alive. His family is so warm and caring and know that through Ian's friends, his memory will continue. I am so happy I have his family around to help me remind me what kind of person Ian was and the people who were next of kin to him also carry his spirit and legacy with them. It's a comforting thing to know and especially how welcoming they are to remember Ian's friends and value us while they are in such deep sorrow.

Ian was so many things to me, in a personal way. We met while working at the newspaper 8 years ago and formed an easy bond from the get go. He was protective, and that always meant so much to me. He was one of the hardest working people I knew, working full time at the newspaper, working as a DJ on weekends and also going to school full time. Not only did he do all that, he also found the time to spend time with his friends and always have a smile on his face. It's really hard to write all of this without crying, because as all the memories start to flood in, a deep sadness comes over me.

Soon after I got to know Ian, did I realize what a beautiful voice he had when he would sing. I could definitely see this was his passion. Part of me thought, he should be a singer more than anything else. That was who he was. Music was his life!

We had many lunches, dinners, conversations by email and phone and sometimes just random run ins.

His birthday was September 14th, but he passed the day before. We were supposed to go out for his birthday that following week. I was anticipating our time together to talk about some fun things and catch a movie and just enjoy our time together. I got to talk to him the Thursday prior to that and I am just thankful I got to hear his voice just one last time before everything transpired.

Yes, grief does feel like fear.. it is terrible to face it and the pain you feel is like no other, but living in Ian's memory helps take that pain away, a little at a time. I know he's watching over us and that comforts me everyday.

My Other Life on the Web

2011-09-02T00:14:00.000-07:00

I have been blogging for sometime now, but ever since I discovered Tumblr, I have been somewhat addicted to the instant satisfaction I get from scrolling through a Tumblr rather than reading long, exasperating blog posts. Tumblr is more light and fun and they don't take themselves all too seriously, and for someone who loves images, Tumblr is very well equiped with images and has a strong visual presence.

I still love to blog, but most days I do not have the energy to give out a dissertation on politics, culture changes, economics or various other topics. Sometimes it's worth keeping it light, just so we can take a break from the crazy world we live in.

So, here's a nod to Tumblr, via http://iwdrm.tumblr.com/ (If We Don't, remember me)

Napoleon Dynamite

Movie Reviews: One Day (2011) and Annie Hall (1977)

2011-08-26T23:43:00.000-07:00

I saw the movie with my friend, Nina, last night. She knew that I had been wanting to watch it since the last few times she and I watched other movies at the theatres in the last few months ("Something Borrowed", I think was the first time I saw the preview for "One Day" and again when she and I watched "Crazy, Stupid, Love").

"One Day" is a good, solid romantic dramedy, but more drama than comedy. It isn't fabulous and it wasn't terrible, but I don't think it will go in the ranks of "When Harry Met Sally," but it still had its charming moments and romantic moments, as well, as shocking moments.

I think Anne Hathaway did a great job in this movie and her character seemed more developed than Jim Sturgess'. However, Jim Sturgess definitely made up for it for looking pretty hot in most of his scenes. Even grey haired Jim Sturgess gave us a sneak preview of him when he hits his '40s.

On another note, "Anne Hall" came in from Netflix this last week. I have been catching up on my lack of Woody Allen movies that I haven't watched. I am very familiar with his newest stuff and have enjoyed his work over the last ten years. Also, in the last 6 months or so, I've watched "Hannah and Her Sisters" and now "Annie Hall," which is deemed definitive Woody Allen material.

I must say, though, "Annie Hall" was fun and had its moments, but I found "Hannah and Her Sisters" to be a much better movie. "Annie Hall" can be really funny to those who lived in that particular era, but more mildly funny for those who didn't. Even for non-New Yorkers, you feel a little isolated in his humour because a lot of it is inside stuff that most of us would be a little confused with. Yet, Woody Allen does have such a great way of ending a movie, and "Annie Hall" does end far better than it began, with a more solidified chronological order of events, rather than one scene going back in time and then the next going further ahead. There are some great scenes, such as Coleen Dewhursts brief moment in the movie only makes you wish she was in more of the film, but her brief presence still is what makes this movie more endearing than annoying. Diane Keaton plays the title role with a lot of dignity, but part of you thinks she's still too sane to have to smoke pot before making love. And, a large part of you knows that she is really smart, but Woody Allen just won't stop rambling before she can really make point.

Anyhow, both of these movies didn't disappoint, but I have seen better romance movies - yet, I am glad I saw these and can make a fair assessment of each.

You Know you're a child of the '80s if...

2011-08-26T23:03:00.001-07:00

You had a crush on one of the New Kids on the Block members.

You wanted to be on StarSearch.

You ever uttered the word "Radical!"

You wore jelly shoes and jelly bracelets

You thought "Ghostbusters" was by far the coolest movie

You remember watching shows like "Punky Brewster" , "Webster", "You Can't Do That On Television" , "Wild&Crazy Kids" and "Double Dare"

You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off. Or even when he had those freaky eyes in "Thriller" at the end of the video.

You wore a banana clip in your hair or one of those slap on wrist bands at some point during your youth.

You rolled up the bottoms of your splatter painted jeans.

You wore loafers with everything, and you put the laces in those little rolls.

You had slouch socks, and puff painted your own shirt at least once.

You owned a doll with 'Xavier Roberts' signed on it's butt.

You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout."

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off."

You can name half of the members of the elite "Brat Pack."

You can remember watching Full House and Saved by the Bell for endless hours!

You have seen at least 10 episodes of Fraggle Rock.

You yearned to be a member of The Babysitters Club, and tried to start a club of your own.

You sat on your back porch, playing with your "My Little Pony" , "Rainbow Brite" , and "Strawberry Shortcake" dolls

You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer."

You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future."

You know where to go if you "wanna go where everybody knows your name."

You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.

You know what "sike" and "not!" mean

You fell victim to 80's fashion : big hair, crimped, combed over to the side, big hoop earrings, and possibly the worst:you wore spandex pants.

You wanted to be a Goonie, or Elliot from E.T.

You owned an extensive collection of Cabbage Patch Kids and trolls.

You knew "The Artist" when he was humbly called "Prince."

You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played "Sam" to be.

You ever wore flourescent -neon if you will clothing....

You could breakdance, or wished you could.

You know who He-Man and She-Ra are.

You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game system.

You know all the words to "Ice Ice Baby".

You remember MC hammer well.

You can still sing the rap to "Fresh Prince of Belair".

You own any cassettes.

You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the moon.

You remember and/or own any of the CareBear Glass collection from PizzaHut.

Pizza Hut was the coolest place to hang.

Poltergeist freaked you out.

You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an E.T. lunchbox.

You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.

You wanted to communicate with some being named Cinergy, or you wanted green hair like that lead singer of the Misfits.

You totally LOVED Barbie's cooler, punkier counterpart, "Jem" and her "Rockers"

You wanted to have an alien like Alf living in your house.

You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish.

You wore tights under shorts and felt stylish.

You layered your multi-colored slouch socks, and added suspenders to make your outfit complete.

You ever had a Swatch Watch.

You actually spent countless hours trying to perfect the care-bear stare.

You had a crush on one of the Coreys

You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.

You had WonderWoman or Superman underwear.

You wanted to be The Hulk for Halloween.

You believed that "By the power of Greyskull, you HAD the power"

You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.

Partying "like it's 1999" seemed SO far away!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You ever owned or wanted any of the NKOTB action figures or dolls.

You remember when Deborah Gibson was "Debbie" Gibson.

If you can identify with at least half of his list then you, my friend, are a "Child of the 80's." Send this to anyone that would appreciate going back to this wonderful decade. Was that a great time or what?????

Trying to face the present, not the past

2011-08-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's so easy to dwell on the past, that the more I think of it, I actually am living in the past quite often, and not entirely enjoying myself in the present.

Of course, there are wonderful past memories I love to dwell on, in which I feel all warm and fuzzy inside thinking about. Then there are past things I think about in which I would have handled better, if maybe given enough sleep, more thought into the situation or just even more education or enlightenment. I think we all wish we make things right that we've wronged in our past, but we just have to keep moving forward and with each day, recognize a fault, acknowledge it, pinky swear to yourself you will try not to repeat the same mistake and if you do, gosh darn it, it will only be a tougher pill to swallow.

Somedays I realize I can be a real ditz. I don't know why somedays I end up acting that way, but then I realize, okay, time to do some more crossword puzzles or read a good book or do something to challenge my brain so I don't become a repeat offender.

However, it's always best to move on from these situations, where we really have no control in most of them. The ones we do have control, well, we just have to bite the bullet.

Life goes on...

Favorite Sci-Fi Films

2011-08-20T00:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, so after watching E.T., part of me reflected on some of my favorite sci-fi films and why I like them. For being a girl, I do enjoy quite a few sci-fi movies and love how they sort of take one out of Earth and to a place beyond. Here are a few that have always stood out:

1) The Right Stuff (1983) - This isn't technically an alien movie, but it is space and science related, and even though it's quite lengthy, it's worth every moment. (I caught this film on AMC about ten years ago, prior to their demise of not airing classic films anymore) To me, the climax of the film is when John Glenn (Ed harris) orbits Earth for the first time, with the strain of Holst's Jupiter playing. It just doesn't get any better than that!

2) The Abyss (1989) - This movie surprised me. It gripped me and moved me, all in one. I think for a sci-fi movie to be good, it still has to connect to the human side of things. And, like any great movie, it has to tell a great story. This movie sucked me in and I didn't really budge for the entire movie. I am glad I saw it!

3) Star Wars: A New Hope (or as we all know it, the first Star Wars movie, lol) (1977) -Yes, this movie was literally implanted in my head from the day I was born. Even though I was born in '82, Star Wars sequels were still being churned out. But, to this day, my favorite Star Wars is the original. And, Star Wars was always everywhere you'd go and didn't even really leave my brother's bedroom, as I'd sleep under Ewok-laden sheets and pillowcases. Now if I think about it, Ewoks were like furry versions of E.T. (yet, a little more agile). Anyhow, this first Star Wars just has it all for me and it brings you back to the original feeling you had when you first saw a Star Wars film. Probably one of my favorite scenes in the movie is when Luke is feeling lonesome and wants to grow up and move from his home, as he watches the sun set (actually, weren't there like two suns setting?), with the wind sweeping his bowl hair cut, the John William's score seems to get Luke's yearning to be a Jedi Knight. To me, that signifies the film and what it's all about, Luke's constant sense of the unknown and what lies before him.

4) Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) - I didn't see this movie until about 7-8 years ago, but it was indeed a great movie and the kind that really made you sit on the edge of your seat. Being that the ending was not at all what I thought it would be sort of disappointed me, but it was still worth the ride!

Well, there are more... but it's getting late and I need some rest. :)

Finally watched "E.T. - the Extra Terrestrial"

2011-08-19T22:55:00.000-07:00

When I was born, E.T. - the Extra Terrestrial was about to be premeired at the theatres on June 11th 1982. I was born roughtly 3 weeks before it premeired. As I grew up, images of E.T. were always abundunt in the media and the movie was already a classic as early as I can remember. However, my mother always felt the alien presence in the movie would scare me as a young girl, so I never got to see it.

As I grew older, I always wanted to see it, but it just kept being pushed to the sidelines. Now, almost 30 years after I was born and since the movie was released, I have finally watched it!

Watching it feels like reliving my childhood all over again. So many familiar toys that I grew up on are seen in the film as well as familiar TV shows and furniture.

The movie is more heartwarming that I expected it to be. E.T., the alien, is by far the sweetest, most tender Hollywood character I've ever seen on video, without being too sweet. Those big sweet eyes and sweet smile just warm the heart. Darn you, puppeteers and artists for creating something that could have been potentially frightening, into something very real and not alien at all.

I also liked the fact that E.T. was not a bad alien on steroids, which we're so used to seeing these days, but something that's original and unique in personality.

This movie only made me long more for a childhood that is now gone and can only be relived in movies such as this.

I can now understand the warm feelings people have towards this film and it will always hold a special place in my heart now, too.

Almost better..

2011-08-16T23:11:00.000-07:00

Well, after a few days of some illness, I am feeling a little better. I don't know why, but when I get a fever, it knocks me down and I get so weak from the fevers. My whole body aches, I feel like I am almost weightless and I can feel the strain on my heart, after all, our bodies do work overtime when we're sick, so no wonder our bodies feel a little embattled.

Whenever I get a fever, part of me just wants to curl up, in fetal position and ride it out and then the other part of me goes to the nearest medicine to get it down. I have a hard time starving my fevers. When I was younger, starving a fever meant it would go up to 106 sometimes. I fear to ever have my fevers ever get that high again.

Sometimes I think back on some bad viruses I got in the past, esp. during off seasons like Summer time. One time when we returned from the Contra Costa County fair in 1989, I awoke in the middle of the night with night sweats and got my mom. She could tell I was very ill, and she got me to the family room, tried to get something in my stomach so I could take some Tylenol and turned on the ceiling fan. I remember that whole night I was in and out of consciousness and totally beat up. My brother even came to watch over me and then my mom came back from more rest to watch over me. They always had a hard time getting me to drink the liquid Tylenol as that stuff tasted terrible to me, especially when you're on the verge of throwing up, anything that tastes like mint and is bitter is the last thing that sounds appetizing, but it has to be done and I usually barely got the stuff down. I guess it's better than Castor oil, like my Grandmother had to endure when she got Scarlet Fever.

Another memory of a bad flu/cold I got was the night we were celebrating a surprise party for my Dad (I think it was his 41st in 1990), and all of my cousins were there, as well as Aunts and Uncles. We were having so much fun, and then it was amazing how fast I fell ill. We were playing in my room and then I told my cousins I felt sick. I curled up in my bed and just sort of stared blankly, thinking, "This feels terrible!" I remember my Aunt came in the room, finding out I was out for the count, and she felt my forehead and could tell I was running a fever. She went and got my mom and they both agreed I was not well. Luckily, both of my Aunts are nurses and my mom worked in the medical field as an ER Medical Assistant for twenty years, so our family were very attuned to these things. It was always a comfort to know I was in good hands. I think what worried me more that evening is I was starting my first day of 3rd grade the next morning and with the way I was feeling, I'd likely not be there. I ended up missing school for the first week. It felt strange to start school a week later but everything eventually gelled after a few weeks and it was as if I hadn't been gone at all.

However, looking back on my report cards, it appears I got sick a lot that quarter, as the teacher noted that due to my illnesses, it reflected poorly on my attendance but that she thought I was still a good student.

Anyhow, these memories of some of my worst illnesses are not to really dwell on me being sick, but it's kind of nice to look back on how well taken care of I was by my family and how much I was loved by them when I was sick. It's a good feeling to be comforted and cared for by the ones who love you, especially when you're ill.

Well, back to work tomorrow :)

Well, I knew it would happen eventually...

2011-08-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

I am sick with something. I knew that busy weekends and busy days and a lack of sleep would more than likely get me there. Last night, I had a scratch in my throat that wouldn't go away. Then this morning I awoke tired, achy, with the scratchiness more pronounced and a pain in my right ear. I am praying this doesn't turn into an ear infection, but if so, hopefully I won't need antibiotics for it and it will manage to go away on it's own .

I worked a half day today, as I was just feeling like I was beating it, but it didn't want to go away. So, for now, I am going to sign off the computer for the rest of the afternoon and do my body a favor - give it a rest!

More blogs coming soon... (sorry for my lack thereof)

Finding the right clothes to suit your body type

2011-08-05T00:02:00.000-07:00

Now that I am heading into my 30's (only 9 months away!), I am finding I can really no longer shop in the juniors departments of some stores. Macy's still has a somewhat better selection that I can get away with, but stores like JCPenney and Kohl's just are simply too "high school" looking in their styles.

Even a few of my favorite stores that I've frequented over the years are starting to make me feel dated because the styles are too geared towards teens, and must I say it, twentysomethings! Being a woman about to hit 30, I can as easily get away with wearing tights and actually have people look at me as an adult. I can still wear tights, but I have to do it in a way where I can actually be taken seriously. I can't wear midriff cut tops, even though they are SO cute on girls who wear size 0 (yes, teens I was that size at your age, too, but add 15 years to that body, and you'll know what I mean about trying to get away with that)

Today, while at Forever 21, I was seriously doubting my choices. I picked four dresses, one that was totally black and had an empire waist, with a v-neck. It cut off at the knee. Perfect for someone my height. The others were cut at the knee and also v-necked, but not empire waists. The waist was, well, set at the normal waistline, each with a little belt. Well, guess which one looked the best on me? You guessed it! (at least, I think you did!) the black, empire waist. For a few reasons, this is why:

1) My bust is slightly larger than it used to be when I used to be a 100lbs. Now I am hovering at 119-121lbs. Aww, youth really is wasted on the wrong people!

2) Yes, I will admit it, I've got a little pudge that when you're younger it goes away usually within days of eating less or getting a bit more exercise, but at almost 30, that little pudge won't nudge, lol I just can't get rid of it. So, the empire waist pretty much eliminates pudge and I LOVE YOU, EMPIRE WAISTS (and Jane Austen, too!)

3) It eliminates any funny areas that you are dealing with, such as little pockets in your pudge that don't look too flattering when wearing tight outfits or shirts.

So, I need to keep a list of certain cuts and styles that fit my look as I see it now. I can't try on clothes that used to look good on my body ten years ago because that is not the body I have now. Just like at 16 I can't expect myself to dress like a 6 year old. I just have to understand that time marches on and wrinkles come with it.

By keeping a list, I will be able to find items that flatter my body at this present stage and help eliminate frustration when shopping.

Note to self: Trying anything billowly (such as catholic school girl cuts or poofy blouses) instantly make you look a bust size bigger, and if you're short and a little stout, this is extremely unflattering. If you're tall, you can easily get away with this look or short and very skinny. But, oh, this dress I tried on today looked like a dream on the rack, but when I tried it on today, it looked more like a floating rain cloud about to burst. It was a terrible and enlightening realization of where my body is today.

So, it is best to take notes and know what looks right on you. I am finding out the hard way and only hope that when I turn thirty that maybe the owners of Forever 21 will have a new store called Forever 31 and I will have more adult choices to choose from that are still fun, but mature :) One can dream...

What the Hell!!?

2011-07-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

One of my friends gave me some of his own DJ mix CD's as a birthday gift last month and I listened to both while I traveled down to Tracy for a wedding photoshoot, and I had to keep going back to this song because it just made me realize, in this life, sometimes we just have to throw our arms up and say, "What the hell" As in, I have to stop caring once in awhile and stop being a perfectionist. Sometimes we just have to give ourselves a break and not stress ourselves out and worry so much, even if we try our hardest, we know in our hearts we try our best.

So, here you go, Avril Lavigne's "What the Hell" If the song doesn't play on here, you can follow the link to youtube.com. Some VEVO videos just don't like to be played on blogs.

(I am not a huge fan of hers, but I do like three or four of her songs, this being one of them!)

What would you do if you became a sudden millionnaire?

2011-07-07T23:40:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been playing the California lottery, Superlotto, in hopes of possibly cracking the winning numbers. I feel, if you don't try, then how will you ever know if you let that chance pass you up. Why not, I say?

Anyhow, with each ticket I buy, I feel all of the "what ifs" come on in my head. What if I could pay all my debt off? What if I could buy myself a house, my mom a house and others a home? What if I could lend money to good friends whom I know are in need of it? What if I could use this money to work for me in the future? What if I could, instead of working, donate my time and charity to help others? What if I could travel to places I've always wanted to? What if I could actually pursue my true love of art and become an art major at an Art College?

Ohh, money does help things, I must say! Having an endless cash flow would mean I could always pay for my own, my family and even some friend's healthcare. I mean, these days, money is an obvious factor on keeping you alive. If you don't have money, you get the cheapest insurance and/or no insurance at all, making living life feel dangerously close to living on the edge.

It isn't that I want to be rich so I can fly in private jet planes, drink champagne all day, have cat fights in pools, and have a party every weekend. I just want to live a normal life, living in a normal sized home, but be able to help those I love around me. I really want that the most. Yes, maybe a designer Chanel bag would be fun to squeeze in there, but I am not that kind of girl. I'd still buy my clothes at Marshall's, TJMaxx and Ross. I'd always look for the best deals, and most of all, I'd utilize my money to live an even greener life, by planting my own vegetable gardens, greenhouses and possibly even having a small farm to have my own chickens and cows. I'd try to use solar panels and other things (such as good insulation to keep the cold and heat out of my home during the winter and summer months) to use as little energy as possible. I'd purchase a hybrid or even fully electric car.

What would I do with my time? Well, I would keep myself busy by firstly spending more time with family. I'd like to also make a few trips, one to visit my boyfriend's family back east, visit my cousins, Aunt and Uncle in Virginia and maybe visit some extended family in North Dakota, Washington and Illinois. I'd make more time to help my Grandma and Grandpa - helping her run errands, help her cook and clean, take them out more and listen and record her family stories. I would love to help maintain the ranch back to it's original state, back when we had a large barn, I'd like to rebuild a barn in which we could have family gatherings in. I'd like to maybe take a vacation with my mom alone, just us at a nice Hawaiian getaway. A vacation she deserves. I'd then love to return to Hawaii with many family members and just "be."

After making up for lost time with family, I'd love to do the same with my friends, helping them out and being there for them more than I have been. I'd love to maybe have a girl's trip to a nearby locale, something I have actually never done before. I'd like to help friends who've hit hard times. Friends who've worked really hard, like myself, but just can't get ahead. I know how they feel and know they deserve some financial freedom and are entitled of it just as much as I am.

Most of all, I wouldn't use this money to flaunt my wealth. I wouldn't be selfish, but I would be savvy to not be too giving. I would use it towards the right causes and for the right purposes. I would still work my part time job. I like to pride myself in living a life similar to that of Warren Buffet. Someone who is stupidly rich, but eats hamburgers all the time and lives in the same rancher house he bought 40 years ago. I am that kind of person. I don't want a McMansion in Beverly Hills.

We have only one life and one chance at winning the lottery (although some lucky few have one multiple lotteries - so sickening, lol) and we only have one chance to make it right. I can't blow it if it does ever happen.

So, let's say our prayers and let's see if the dice roll in my favor :)

Favorite Movie Moment - Mermaids (1990)

2011-07-06T22:38:00.000-07:00

This movie is one of my favorite coming of age movies. It stars Cher, Winona Ryder, Bob Hoskins and Christina Ricci. It's about a girl who is trying to find herself amongst her hormonal, sexy, drifting mother during the early '60s. Winona's character, Charlotte Flax, tries to defy her mother, Mrs. Flax, by turning Catholic (although in the movie, she's refered as Jewish by her mother). Over the months at living at their new place, Charlotte and Mrs Flax butt heads, which ultimately leads to some dramatic results in which both realize they were in the wrong.

The movie has many endearing performances, and with good casting, we are only lucky to expect that from this movie. It's a solid movie. That's all I can say. It keeps you interested and the performances by each actor make you care enough about them and what they're going through.

Since Winona Ryder is one of the very few actresses I can relate to (in real life and in her performances), I feel partial to this movie. However, I also enjoy a great many of Cher's movies (surprisingly!) and thing Cher is a pretty darn good actress. She did win an Oscar, so that has to say something about her acting ("Moonstruck" anyone?)

Overall, if you're ever in the mood for a movie that is good comedy mixed with some drama, with an early '90s feel to it (and this definitely is nostalgic for me since I was a kid when I first saw this film in the early '90s), then grab this sweet movie and enjoy :)

Here's the trailer:

Michael Caine Appreciation

2011-07-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

Michael Caine took some time to grow on me over the years, but I enjoy his films very much and intend on watching more of what he has to offer. But, in the meantime, he's always worth the eye candy, so here's a few pics:

Michael Cain, with Jane Asher, in "Alfie"

A Little Romance (1979)

2011-06-20T23:18:00.001-07:00

I haven't seen this movie in several years, but would like to watch it again. This is such a gem!

New (& Old) Song Discoveries

2011-06-20T22:44:00.000-07:00

This month I have found a lot of interesting new songs and Classical pieces, so here's a go (these songs will be on a mix cd made by me in the near future, lol)

Chumbawamba - Don't Try This At Home (2003)

I first heard this song on one of my favorite iTunes stations, the Atlantic Sound Factory, which can also be found and heard on it's own website. The song had a perfect blend of melody, pop sound and vocals to me. It's funny that this is the same group that sang the more popular song of, "I Get Knocked Down" from around 1997-1998. I actually really love that song when I sort of need to wake up and get going. It's a bit of a guilty pleasure, lol.

Bruce Springsteen - Your Hometown

This song is so poignant for those of us who've grown up in the same town all our lives and call it our "hometown."

I use to hear this song on the radio all the time, but it's so strange how some songs resonate so differently when you're older. Plus, I just don't think they play this song like they used to, so it was like listening to it with fresh ears when I was at the grocery store a few weeks ago.

Rest in Peace, Clarence Clemmons, who just died a few days ago. He is the one playing the tamborine in the video.

One Eskimo - Amazing

It's really interesting how so many songs lately that I've been catching on the radio, TV ads, or while at stores, a lot of the titles have the word "Amazing" in it.

I first heard this on on KFOG, but only got to here the 2nd half in which the song shifted into a choral with repeated chorus until it ended. I was impressed with just the ending itself, but I enjoy the build up from the first half that goes into the 2nd half.

I am glad I caught this song on the radio. Choirs/chorals seem to always make a song better, just like a banjo does.

Train Song - Vashti Bunyan

I just heard this song for the first time tonight on a blog that I follow. Supposedly it's been spotted on a Samsung commercial and seems to have a new following of listeners. I must admit, the words in this song are cryptic and yet, make total sense. If you've ever let someone go or they've left you, and you're making your way back to them, this is a song we can identify with.

A Fun Saturday and A Fun Sunday Afternoon

2011-06-14T17:29:00.000-07:00

(Picture courtesy of one of my favorite blogs, Design is Mine)

Since I don't have any photos from this weekend (a rarity for me!), I decided to use the above photo as just an all around "good feeling" picture. I had a great weekend, nevertheless. Saturday I stayed home and cleaned and ate food and rested. I hadn't vegged out like that in a long time. Just taking a whole day and just sort of doing nothing. It didn't help that my sleep had been thrown off, so I was a bit tired due to that, as well.

I was invited to my co-worker's 30th Birthday "Masquerade" themed party that night as well, and I thought I would just take it easy rather than push myself all day running errands. I decided to try and look for some masks that I had bought close to Halloween time last year, but I couldn't seem to find them anymore. However, I knew at the party they were going to have a spot where we could make the masks, so I didn't fret too much.

When it was time to get ready, I couldn't decide what to wear. This is usually not a problem for me, but I've gained some weight and some dresses that I thought would fit, didn't fit anymore. The ones that did fit weren't exactly what I wanted to wear. So, I combined two dresses and got one out of it, lol One was showing too much if I bent the wrong way, so the other helped cover that up!

When we got to the party, I was so impressed at how nicely Jamie and her sister, Marcie, decorated everything. I could really see how much work they were putting into everything over the last few days. It really paid off because everything looked great :) The food smelled amazing and the desserts looked SUPER tasty (and, well, they were!)

Jamie painted her mask on with make up and jewels and it really turned out great! I must say, these two sisters know how to get a party going!

It was fun to meet some of their friends and meet up with some I'd already met in the past.

One side note: When I was digging for masks at home to no prevail, I ran across a mullet wig (a la Steve Perry from Journey) that I bought for Halloween 2009 for Cooper to wear. Well, I thought it would be funny if he wore it to Jamie's party, too. So, we brought it and he didn't have it on at first, but then put it on, along with a prop they had at the "photo booth," which was a Hawaiian lei. When Jamie came down and saw Cooper, she didn't know who he was. I wasn't there when it happened, but I am sure it was pretty funny!

All in all, a fun night indeed!

Sunday was just a normal day, I cleaned for the first half and then went to Target and the bookstore in Pleasant Hill. I enjoyed some time looking at the bargain books.

I then went to Target and bought a few necessity items. I came home and enjoyed some time with the boyfriend. Then I got a new fangled idea of deciding to want to go and play Bocce ball. So, we got our Bocce Ball set out and headed over to the local Bocce Ball court, but darn, it was taken up by some League players, so we still had a football to throw around and we did that for a bit and played on the swings (yes, we are kids at heart, lol)

We decided to drive around and then we hit Dinosaur Hill, which is a scenic viewing area and also an area you can walk around. So we climbed up to the top and then walked back down for a bit and headed back to the car. I felt so refreshed getting in some exercise and a little sun. It really felt like one of the best days we'd had together in awhile. The kind of days we used to have more frequently before we became work-a-holics, lol. (well, he's by far more of a work-a-holic, but I am a different kind of work-a-holic - I am also a clean-a-holic, too, so I am hardly at rest)

We then had a hankering for meat, yet we're vegetarians. We came seriously close to just having our 1 day a year treat of meat dish, lol. But, we couldn't do it, so we went to Safeway and bought veggie Keilbasa and made one delicious meal out of it, along with BBQ'd beans and a yummy salad.

In between all of that, we watched some of that "Hot in Cleveland" show, which has Betty White, Wendy Malick and Valerie Bertinelli. I thought it was actually cute, but what I loved is they had cameos of a bunch of "All My Children" actors in it. I used to watch "All My Children" with my mom, starting in pre-school. I know, a little young to be watching soaps, but it always came on after I'd get off pre-school, so I'd watch it with her so she could keep an eye on me. I got to know a lot of the characters and their storylines and of course, Susan Lucci's character, Erica Kane.

Anyway, I will have to have my mom watch that episode as she'd get a kick out of it.

All in all, this was a fun weekend and I am glad it ended so perfectly on Sunday night. Just like the old days :)

All best,
Kristen

Family History Findings - The French Connection on Loftin/Connors Side

2011-06-11T00:09:00.000-07:00

Loftin/Connors -

Well, being that I knew that some of our family came from the the southwest part Germany (mainly Baden-Wurttenburg) made me always wonder if we happened to have links to France or a possible homebase there. Tonight I indeed found relatives who were born in Alsace-Lorraine, France. I am sure the ethnicities of German/French are quite intertwined over there, making possibly their own unique look and culture apart from the main French and German people.

Being born in this part of Europe must be interesting as you're almost a hop-skip-jump next to Switzerland, France, Germany, Luxumbourg and Belgium. I've always found this to be a somewhat desirable place to live because of the closeness between each country. You've got the beautiful Swiss Alps and Lake Lucerne to your south and the Bavarian forests to your North and East, while you have the French countryside to your West.

Here is the breakdown of relatives, in relation to myself who were from France and then moved into Germany, then Russia and then America:

Michael Becker (1640 - 1690)
is your 9th great grandfather
(Born in Reuztenheim, Bas-Rihn, Alsace, France)

Johann Becker (1672 - 1742)
Son of Michael
(Born in Reuztenheim, Bas-Rihn, Alsace, France)

Michael Becker (1715 - 1760)
Son of Johann
(Born in Reuztenheim, Bas-Rihn, Alsace, France)

Paul Becker (1756 - 1783)
Son of Michael
(Born in Sessenheim, Bas-Rihn, Alsace, France)

Eva Barbara Becker (1793 - 1874)
Daughter of Paul
(Born in Reuztenheim, Bas-Rihn, Alsace, France)

George Herr (1820 - 1877)
Son of Eva Barbara
(Born Wilgartswiesen, Bayern, Germany)

Jacob Herr (1851 - 1916)
Son of George
(Born in Kamarovka, Khersonska, Ukraine)

Jacob Herr (1874 - 1920)
Son of Jacob
(Born in Kamarovka, Khersonska, Ukraine)

Lydia Ileen (1896 - 1987)
Daughter of Jacob
(Born in Ashley, North Dakota)

Annette Ileen (1929 - )
Daughter of Lydia Ileen
(Born in Wishek, North Dakota)

Carole Roberta (1952 - )
Daughter of Annette Ileen
(Born in Oakland, California)

Kristen Carole
You are the daughter of Carole Roberta

What's fascinating is that there are marriage records of these family members from the 1600's. I'd love to see what these look like. I will need to do a more broad search of them on Ancestry.com to see the churches my ancestors were married in.

I will keep digging a little further on the female sides, since they are often harder to track (due to the surnames becoming lost in the shuffle after they've married)

Another fascinating and gratifying find tonight...

My Favorite Beatles Songs

2011-06-09T00:19:00.000-07:00

It's funny to see how each new generation is being exposed to the Beatles. When I was in my early teens, my introduction to them was through radio, mainly the Oldies stations. I'd hear their pop standards such as "Love Me Do" or "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" and think, "Yeah, they're alright" But, I wasn't going all gaga over them.

When I was about 12, I was getting into listening to the Oldies stations more and then one day I heard, "She Loves You," and although this was still a standard pop song, it wasn't like the others out there. It had some interesting melodies and bridges and use with words, like Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. It was fully energetic and THAT was the song that turned me onto the Beatles and all their glory. However, I was still learning of them, I then heard a song called, "All You Need Is Love," and after it was over, the radio announcer said, "And, there's another great one from the Beatles," and I was like, "Whaaa..?" That didn't sound anything like "She Loves You!" That sounded like a totally different band!

That's when I realized there was more to them than their standard pop songs. I became entranced by their music, and with each album I purchased, I couldn't believe my ears. It was so fresh to me and so new of a sound. Most of my childhood, I was mainly brought up on R & B, 70's and 80's Pop, and Classic Rock with Oldies mixed in (my Dad liked Motown and my mom loved the Beach Boys and more surfer rock or Shelley Fabares style pop), but nothing prepared me for the Beatles.

So, along with that, here are what I deem the best Beatles songs out there (almost all written by the Beatles, except for maybe one or two):

Til There Was You

Nowhere Man

Cry Baby Cry

Honey Pie

I've Just Seen A Face

She Loves You (The Song that started it all for me :)

Let It Be (the kind of song that gets you through those tough days)

I'll Follow the Sun (My Dad's favorite Beatles Song)

I'm Looking Through You (Anthology version- which I like better than the original)

Well, there are more than I thought, so I am going to have to wrap this up and add more at another time!

Good night!

Family History Findings - June/July 2011

2011-06-08T23:18:00.000-07:00

I have been pretty busy the last few months, but thought I should put an effort into the family history findings portion of my blog, which has been put on the backburner a bit.

Cooper/Marris -

As I wrote back in March, my boyfriend was able to reunite with his cousins from New York City, in which they found my blog which was the connector that brought them all back together.

The story goes that the Marris cousins were looking into Morley Marris (Audrey and Dorothy Marris' father) and one of them decided to do a google search of Morley's name. Luckily, I had made Morley Marris and the Marris name a key word and therefore up popped my blog. I was so surprised that it was that easy for them to find it and I was even more especially happy that they were actively searching their family at just the right time. What if I never had made those postings prior to that day? Would they have ever attempted to "google" their grandfather's name again, or just give up after that first time? I think that's how amazing some coincidences can be.

The good news is that it brought together a family that had lost touch mainly after Audrey's death in 1980, roughly 31 years ago.

The day we got to meet them, it was a rainy day in San Francisco. They were staying at the Radisson in Fisherman's Wharf. We decided to meet for dinner, but we got into the City fairly early, so we decided to come up to their rooms and meet there. It was so fun, they were so nice and easy to talk to. Most especially, one brought photos that Audrey had collected over the years. She said they'd been in a suitcase that Audrey kept them inside of. Some photos had seen better days, but it didn't matter to me. I relish in vintage anything. Even though this wasn't my own flesh and blood family, I felt an affinity for the Marris side after discovering so many facts about them over the last several months. Seeing photos of Morley and Margaret Marris, along with the adorable Audrey and Dorothy, filled my heart with joy. I did know what Dorothy looked like as an adult, but not as a little girl.

To keep the privacy of the family photos private, I will not post any photos on my blog (we took photos of each picture with our camera), but to describe a few, may give you an idea of what we got to see: One of the wide eyed grin of one of Dorothy's photos made my heart melt. Such a sweet, youthful girl she was, on the verge of womanhood. I can really see where my boyfriend got his eyes from, most especially from his mother, who also had blue eyes.

There were many photos of Audrey as a baby onto teenhood and then into adulthood, close to the time of her death. Audrey is by far one of the darnedest cutest little girls I have ever seen. Every photo of her makes me smile because she was so adorable in each of them. In one of her baby photos, where her father has his head down, looking at her, she has a mass of almost black hair ringlets. Such a sweet picture. It's unfortunately a little obscured from poor lighting where her face is, but the way it captured her hair on that tiny little head is adorable.

Morley Marris was not how I pictured him. I expected him to have dark brown hair, but photos showed him to have a lighter brown to me. And, he was very fair skinned and of slight stature, but had a nice looking face, with high cheekbones. My boyfriend said he could see a lot of his mom in her father. I think he could see it in the eyes.

Margaret Marris was not at all what I thought she'd look like. You could definitely see where the girls got their darker features as Margaret had a mass of dark brown to blackish looking hair and piercing blue eyes. She had a stare about her that was very penetrating. She also had an ahtletic build to her. One photo almost gives way that she was in attire to play tennis, but I could be wrong. It appears Morely was providing well for his family, as he had moved up at the Chase Manhattan Bank on 5th Avenue. Supposedly, Dorothy and Audrey were well off for most of their childhood, however, things seemed to have fallen apart after Margaret died of cancer (and or disappeared from the family) Margaret wore very stylish clothes, coats that were adorned with fur linings, stylish shoes and stalkings. Her dresses definitely seemed in line with the styles of the time and to be fashion forward, as well. She had a very lean figure and appeared taller than I think she really was. I think she was around 5'4'' but looked more like 5'7''.

Margaret, as I learned, had the maiden name of Lange. I thought by knowing this, a bunch of new records could be found on her, but alas, nothing has turned up, and the search on her side has become frustratingly stalled. There are some nights, I'll hope upon hope that I will find a glimmer of some kind of info that I didn't catch before, but at this time, I just can't see to get a hold of what I need to get past a certain point. Fortunately, one of the Marris cousin's daughters is helping me with my search, and so maybe together, we can make Margaret a mystery solved.

All in all, this has been a very exciting journey for both familys, and most especially, the cousins. I am so happy this has all come about and that my boyfriend has more family on his mother's side to get to know and learn about.

Loftin/Connors -

I was trying to do a search on my great grandmother Bridget Annie Sexton on my mom's fathers side recently, and she's another mystery. Since she was born in San Francisco in 1878, and since this was before the 1906 Earthquake, many SF records were lost in the quake and the following fires, which means probably a lot of info about her in census, property records, etc, have been lost to fire.

However, what I do know is that Annie was married very young, what appears to be at the young age of 16 and began having children at that age, as well. At the moment, I am unable to get into Ancestry.com's website (must be down at the moment), but from memory, it appears her father was from England and her mother was Irish. Sexton is an English surname, so this in fact makes sense. What I was curious to know is what part of England did the Sexton family come from.

Some good news, however, as I get to meet some cousins of my mothers who are the granddaughters of Annie Sexton. The funny thing is, the were born to Gladys Connors, who was 21 years older than her brother (my Grandfather) Frank Connors, and so my mother's cousins are much older than her, but they are still very active ladies and have such sweet demeanors and also are some of the last surviving members of the Connors cousins. We are attempting to meet sometime in July and look over old family photos and get some great history on the Connors family. I am very excited for this meeting :)

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So, as you can tell, a lot has been happening since the last few posts I made about family history.

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Until then, Happy Findings!

Some Favorite Movie Moments

2011-06-05T22:41:00.000-07:00

Some of my All Time favorite Movie Moments, ever since I was a little Tot:

"Youth is wasted on the wrong people"

Some fun 1970's and 1980's (& some '90s) Songs

2011-06-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

I grew up on a lot of songs from the '70s and '80s so I enjoy taking a trip back in time listening to some fun songs that I listened to then (and some songs I've discovered a little later)

I remember digging through my parents 8-track collections that had began collecting dust after cassettes became the norm. Then cassettes slowly began to be taken away and CD's replaced them. And, well, now the cycle has shifted to Mp3's.

When I was younger, cassettes were mainly what we listened to. CD's didn't come in until I was about ten years old, but we still bought tapes after that as CD's cost more than tapes. Tapes were still in abundance until the mid-'90s.

Here are some songs I have some fond memories of when listening to them on cassette in my mom's car or on our stereo at home:

Teach Your Children Well - Crosby, Stills and Nash

This song reminds me of painting our rooms and hallway during the Summer. My mom liked to get a new can of paint and listen to the oldies station and we'd help her paint a new coat that I am sure my brother soiled over the year, lol. She always bought Glidden's Glossy Antique White. Then she'd mop the floors with Clorox, vacuum and run the dishwasher and AC and for some reason, this level of cleanliness reminds me of Summer Days, lol.

What A Fool Believes - The Doobie Brothers

This song reminds me of playing in the garage and front yard while my Dad washed his car or worked in the garage, while he'd play the rock stations on his stereo in the garage.

Can't We Try - Dan Hill & Vonda Shepherd

I remember my brother and cousin Tiffany would sing this for fun as a duet while we'd be riding in my mom's car. My mom had his album and this was the stand out song on it.

Somewhere Out There - Linda Ronstadt & James Ingram

My mom loved this song. I remember one day she just kept rewinding it and singing to it. I remember this day really well, for some weird reason. I remember my Aunt Penny dropping by and I insisted on her French braiding my hair, lol. I think it was just a few days before Halloween, as she was discussing Halloween costumes. Maybe I have a photographic memory like Marilu Henner or something because God knows why I remember this from 24 years ago!

On a side note, some Youtube comments can be priceless. One person's reply to the 12 people who pressed the "dislike" button said this: "12 People have no hearts"

The Right Stuff - New Kids on the Block

Nothing really brings back days at the roller rink better than this song. Man would we go ape when this song would come on. I think kids today could equate their love of the Jonas Brothers to how we felt about NKOTB. They were not the Beatles or anything like that, but they had their run of success.

Heaven Is A Place On Earth - Belinda Carlisle

I remember hearing this song coming home from Great America and singing it with my Aunt Penny, brother Scott, cousin Tiffany and my Mom. It was such a fun trip, spending the night at the Marriott, going to Great America the next day, ordering some Hotel food and eating it while watching Edward Scissorhands inside the hotel room. Then we visited our cousin Paul on our way home and then when we left Fremont, we took this fun and winding road home. It's funny how, as a kid, these random memories leave such an impression on you. My Aunt Penny was always so spontaneous and that's the part I love about her. She got us moving! So, at the time, this song really was how my life felt at that moment, heaven on earth for such a fun few days with some of my favorite people!

Never Gonna Get It - En Vogue

Wow, did I overplay this song when I bought this CD for my birthday in 1992!! My cousin Tiffany and I would sing this song ALL the time. This CD is still in my collection and I've kept it in impeccable condition (I was sort of a mini clean-freak when I was young, lol) I loved the breakdown part. Love you, En Vogue, for representing Oak-Town :)

Save The Best for Last - Vanessa Williams

I really loved this song when it came out. I had this album, but it's been misplaced since moving a few times. I am still in hopes of finding it. This song really signifies to me of transitioning from the end of '92 and entering '93, the last half of my 5th grade school year. That winter was special, as it snowed in Pittsburg and I still never forgot how it looked.

Gardening and Yard Clean Up for Summer

2011-05-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

Now that my allergies seem to have gone through their worst stage for the season (watery, itchy and swollen eyes, bad sneezing, rashes, swollen lips from pollen contact and insane bug bites), I can actually go out and breathe again. Pollen is still one of my worst enemies (if I see a sheet of it on my car, I don't even touch my car), but I've been managing to handle my allergies with more success this year. Again, with some pretty miserable days behind me, I can now walk outside and somewhat enjoy my time. When I see that the sun is making the weeds golden, I know I am getting into safe territory because that means the pollen gets burned with it. Yay for golden fields for the golden state.

Over the last week, I have been working on cleaning up our yard more and landscaping it. I want to purchase some special weed tarp fabric to keep weeds coming back in the future. This year proved to be the worst weeds in our backyard since we've moved in. Maybe weeds are nature's way of saying, back off and stay away. All I can say is these weeds have a purpose, and that is to hurt anything or anyone who come their way. Some of them are worse than a wrapping vine, but also stick to anything they come across. Some have nice pretty purple flowers, but don't get too close to that one. It's more thorny than a rose bush, and the sting is only worse.

Another nasty weed that's overtaken our backyard is one that looks cute and harmless, with little white puff balls at the tips, then just when you get closer to admire it, and want to touch the little white ball, do you only realize that little sucker is full of miniature prickley's. I made the mistake of dropping my glove in a patch that I had just chopped down.

So, my battle against the weeds is still not over. I only made a small dent (mainly to get to some of the plants that needed watering or to clear a pathway so I could walk through to the other side).

However, I envision a beautiful backyard, as we have a beautiful oak tree that helps sculp our yard. I know if I can get the weeds under control, then we should be good. I also want to tarp the yard to help control the amount of spiders and bugs we're getting. Over the last week, I've had to kill about 4 very large spiders, one actually crawling in my bed. That was the last straw for me! It's okay if a spider wants to creep up on me while I'm asleep, but to do it in pure light - that little guy had guts! I had no choice but to kill him. I didn't want to, really, but I didn't want him crawling on me later. I regretted it, but it had to be done.

We also had a lot of weevils which have been biting me at least every night, as I have had a few new bites on me every morning.

I am excited to get our yard into shape and keep cleaning out areas in which we no longer need the items. If we have to move in the near future, I want things to be organized and I feel I am getting a little closer each day.

I'll try and post pictures of my progress.

Birthday Week - Your Roots, Something to take Pride In

2011-05-25T00:38:00.000-07:00

I don't like to boast, but sometimes having a teeny amount of inner pride helps us get through our days. Having a little pride in our hearts can help boost our self esteem. Again, I don't mean we should be boastful, but we can keep it silently to ourselves. We should know who we are, where we came from and where we're heading next. That takes some inner pride.

My roots are a part of me that no one can take away from me. I am who I am, and there's nothing I can change about that. I only have one life to live, so I can't wish to have been born a princess nor an heiress nor a rich couple's daughter. I am only glad I had a life growing up that was comfortable - full of parties, childhood fun and mischief, running through fields at my Grandma's house, having pool parties that never seemed to end, finding myself through going to different schools, having constant family support. Yes, I am lucky, now that I look back on my life. I have been given every chance to succeed.
My roots, as far as genes go, I often feel blessed to have. I especially have learned more about my family more than ever in the last year, thanks to Ancestry.com (I am really starting to sound like they're #1 endorser). I've been interested in my family roots for years, but Ancestry.com has made it easier than ever to dig deeper than ever before.

I realize I come from a very colorful background. Part of me has deep Southern roots in North Carolina, Tennessee, Missouri, Kentucky, Texas and Virginia. Part of me has deep roots in the Mid-West, as well, mainly in North Dakota, Illinois and Minnesota. A big part of my ancestry also has roots nestled in the heart of Germany and Russia, where as other parts are directly from Ireland and England. I feel a deep affinity for all these parts of myself in which make the whole person I am today. I am just another American in which my relatives came to America with a dream. I hold a part of them inside of me and keep that fire burning inside. Maybe this is why I find genealogy so fascinating because I feel like it's a mirror of my past when looking at myself in the mirror, looking into my history, the history of my blood brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, grandparents and great grandparents. What were their hopes and dreams? Did they succeed? However, did they die unhappy and unfulfilled?
The other day, I was driving on the freeway, watching cars go so hurriedly on by, and I realized, a vast majority of these people have deep roots tied to some of our earliest settlers, and I wondered how much these people really knew this about their families. I thought how we all mingle with one another now, and who knows if our ancestors ever crossed paths at one point in time, as well. We are all a bit like currency; at one point in time, we've crossed paths, but sometimes we stick around and other times, we are only around for a split second. It's amazing how our world works.

-----------------------

After discovering what an impact looking into genealogy can do when my boyfriend's cousins found my blog online, did I only realize how important this hobby had turned into for me. It was now more than a hobby. It was now an impetus which brought people together after almost 30 years of not seeing one another. It impacted lives. Knowing our roots is still something we hold in high esteem. Some hundred years ago, keeping our legacy alive was done by passing down family recipes, family albums and heirlooms, handwritten stories and even stories told by mouth that have been passed down from one generation to the next.

What will we pass down through the generations now that we're in the 21st Century? I doubt it will be our iPods or Laptops. No, it will have to be something tangible. Something like a handmade book; something that really reveals your personality.

So, what will you pass down to keep your legacy alive?

New Reads from Borders Liquidation Sale

2011-05-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

Last week, we decided to take a peak at our local Borders that is closing down. I didn't realize it, but we were coming in on their final last few days. It was a little sad to see a book store I had frequented as a pit stop after seeing a movie (the theatre is just across the way) or just a stop to browse and look around, or a place to just hang with friends or family. I didn't realize when I walked in there that I did have a lot of memories of my time being there. And, yet, another local bookstore shuts its doors :(

I found some actually really nice finds and I believe I only paid about $8.00. Each book was 80-90% off.

Here they are:

Novel
All Over but the Shoutin' - Rick Bragg

I remember purchasing another book of his in the past, called Ava's Man. He writes mostly historical memoir, based on his Alabama and Southern roots, so being that I am interested in family history and love history in general, his books usually are right up my alley. I never finished Ava's Man, but remembered it being a good book from what I'd read. So, I thought, I should add this one to the collection and hopefully get to it in the next year or so.

Social Studies
One Perfect Day - The Selling of the American Wedding - Rebecca Mead

I know reading a book which doesn't put the wedding industry in the best light may be an adverse reaction to being a photographer (such as myself), but I think it's important to know how the wedding industry works, and to be honest, this book gives some pretty amazing stats on how things are working behind the scenes. I actually have read this book about 45 pages in and it's hard to put down. There are amazing (and shocking) facts, mixed in with some funny anecdotes of stories that the author tells of those she got to know in the wedding industry as she did her research.

Entertainment/Memoir
Fifth Avenue, 5am - Sam Wasson

Turning the corner from looking at a mixed bag of books (not so surprisingly, lots of Sarah Palin books lie abandoned - I guess Palin can't even sell at 90% off ;), I saw this gem on the bookshelf. I actually couldn't believe someone hadn't snatched this up faster because this would be considered a more "hot" item kind of book. For any Audrey Hepburn and Breakfast at Tiffany's fans, this would be your Utopia. Or at least add to any additional related material. It isn't full of photos, so that may be one reason it may have not sold as quickly, but if you're genuinely interested in Audrey Hepburn and the making of her films (such as myself) and not just because she was a pretty face, then you'd get a little heart flutter inside upon setting eyes on this book.

All in all, I felt super satisfied at what I got for such great prices! Thank you, Borders, for your parting gifts. But, still sad you're officially gone from Pleasant Hill :(

Birthday Week Fun

2011-05-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

My birthday is at the end of this week (Saturday, May 21st) and I thought I'd have some fun with celebrating my short (but ever increasing life). This is a birthday in which in the year to follow, I will be spending my last year in my twenties, so it's a strange feeling that I am entering a new decade come next May (also, supposedly to be the end of the world on my birthday next year - Lucky me, lol)

So, in celebration of my birthday, instead of spending lots of money, I am going to celebrate my life on my blog, lol

Let's get the festitivities going!

Here is an ode to My Top 50 favorite songs:

Stand By Me                King, Ben E.

Annie's Song                 Denver, John

City of New Orleans       Guthrie, Arlo

Free Fallin'                      Petty, Tom

Year of the Cat               Stewart, Al

Fields of Gold                 Sting

Leader of the Band         Fogelberg, Dan

Live and Let Die             McCartney

Dancing in the Dark        Springsteen, Bruce

Hey Jude                       Beatles

The Boxer                     Simon and Garfunkel

Your Song                    John, Elton

Against the Wind          Seger, Bob

Blinded By the Light     Manfred Mann's Earth Band

Gentle on My Mind      Campbell, Glen

Here Comes the Sun     Beatles

It's All in the Game       Edwards, Tommy

Lonely People              America

Everybody's Talkin'      Nilsson

Longer                         Fogelberg, Dan

All Out of Love           Air Supply

Blue Blue Sky (Reprise)           Alan Parsons Project

California Dreamin'      Mamas & Papas

Don't Dream It's Over             Crowded House

Eternal Flame             Bangles

Galveston                  Campbell, Glen

Hill Farmer Blues       Mark Knopfler

Leaving on a Jet Plane              Peter, Paul and Mary

Let it Be                     Beatles

Martha My Dear        Beatles

Mrs. Robinson           Simon and Garfunkel

New York's Not My Home    Croce, Jim

Sound of Silence        Simon and Garfunkel

The Way We Were    Streisand

Tuesday                    McCartney

We Just Disagree      Mason, Dave

Yesterday                 Beatles

Fall At Your Feet     Crowded House

I Can See Clearly Now           Nash, Johnny

Moonriver               Williams, Andy

Mother Nature's Son              Beatles

Rich Girl                 Hall & Oates

Someone Saved My Life Tonight                John, Elton

Travelin' Man         Nelson, Ricky

I Will Always Love You                            Houston, Whitney

Make it With You        Bread

Only Living Boy in New York                   Simon and Garfunkel

Scarborough Faire                                    Simon and Garfunkel

Shanghai Breezes                                      Denver, John

Shape of My Heart                                   Sting

Five "Bad" Movies I Love

2011-05-14T00:40:00.000-07:00

There are many movies out there that critics (and most audiences) call flops and critical failures, yet there are some small, underground audiences that fall in love with some of these particular movies. I am one (of many) who loves me some bad movies. And, it's not because I think they're bad, but I do love them. I love them as equally as an Oscar nominated film, just in a different way. So, let the countdown begin:

5) Mannequin (1987)- This was a popular movie, but critics hated it! But, who can deny a love story between a lonely human male and a female mannequin that comes to life at night, and a beautiful one at that! I loved this movie and still get giddy when it comes on TV.

4) Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986) - This was sadly not a very popular movie upon its theatrical release (didn't gross much in the US nor worldwide), but being aired on the Disney channel quite often introduced me to this sweet movie. I really think it's underrated. Let's just say this: Yes, for anyone 12 and over, this movie is not exactly rocket science, but for anyone younger than 12, this movie is fun to watch. It also provides a good lesson on how someone can crossover to the "bad" side, and see the light to return to the "good" side. The end song, I think, is also a great little song. I bet if someone else had sung it, it may have even been a hit. Anyway, I know it sounds dorky, but I will still sit myself down and watch this if and when it gets aired again.

3) Career Opportunities (1991) - This movie, I don't think, is considered really, really bad to most people, but it was likely one of John Hughes least successful and lessor known films. John Hughes had major successes before this, so I am sure it had to be a let down. However, the movie, over time, seems to have a bit of a cult following and those who've watched it for a second time or for the first time, are really in love with it. I am sure many a man enjoys a very seductive Jennifer Connolly, frollicking around in tight jeans and a white tank top in an empty Target store.

2) Cracking Up (1983) - When I was about 8 or 9 years old, we caught this movie on a Saturday afternoon (a day that most channels decide to air really awful movies) on a local channel, yet as odd as this film was and how it didn't make a lot of sense, we kept watching and laughed through the whole thing. Little did I know at the time, this movie was a huge flop and didn't get very good reviews. Nevertheless, we still quote lines from this movie and we still remember specific, funny parts from it to this day!

1) Hook (1991) - Hook has been lauded over the last 20 years (holy cow, did I just say "20 years!?") as a critical failure. Despite people still making fun of it to this day, I still love this movie. Really, I LOVE this movie. I guess certain parts of it speak to me. How the children feel neglected by their grown up "Peter Pan" dad; how he's forgotten to loosen up and just be a kid again. I love the back story behind Peter deciding to grow up, losing Wendy, but falling for her granddaughter. I love the fights between the Lost Boys and Hook. I like how they imagine their food to be there, when it's not really there. Most of all, I think this fun and imaginative film deserves more credit. It also has a really nice movie soundtrack attached to it. So, why does this movie get slammed so much? I can think of much worse stuff out there (hmmm, "Freddy Got Fingered" anyone?? "Howard the Duck" - Ugh!, "Soul Plane" - Bottom of the Barrel movie making)

So go grab your blanket and hot chocolate and enjoy a few of your favorite bad movies. Besides, everyone has unique tastes and that doesn't mean we have to always be in art-house mode.

Prince William & Catherine Middleton

2011-04-30T18:36:00.000-07:00

I wasn't able to catch the wedding live, but I awoke around 6:30am Pacific Time and tried to keep my eyes away from the remote and not catch a glimpse, but the calling of Kate's dress was so hard to resist and I then couldn't keep my hands away and grabbed the remote and switched it on. Oh, what a dream of a dress!!

I was so pleased to see what she chose as her design. The lace was so beautiful, and to be honest, that would be the perfect dress. It spoke volumes of being so subtle and beautiful, yet ornate enough for royalty. I read that the lace was a special Irish lace which was hand sewn.

I am usually not all for pomp and circumstance weddings, but the English know how to do a wedding right! Everyone dresses so flamboyantly and the hats are beyond unique (as I say "beyond" in an English accent).

It's been an honor to follow the lives of the royals, although, through the worst of times, the best of times are certainly worth it.

When I was little, I always caught glimpses of the royal family in American tabloids. I'd see Princess Diana's beautiful big eyes grace cover after cover of People or the Enquirer or Star magazines. I'd also see her two young sons.

I happened to be born exactly one month before Prince William in 1982. I was born May 21st 1982, so I always thought this was a predestined date that maybe I'd marry my English Prince. Oh, what a dream that was, as it is now only to remain a dream, lol.

Yet, Kate is a perfect match for him. She was also born in 1982 and seems so mature beyond her 29 years. I feel honored that these two young people will help define my generation.

Let's raise a toast to the happy couple and only wish for there long lived happiness!

Happy Birthday, Eddie Albert!

2011-04-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a sudden urge tonight to watch something fun and upbeat. A musical seemed the only way to cure this urge. I looked through my collection of DVD's, and the one I had in mind was hard to find, but all I could do was sing, "Oh What a Beautiful Morning, Oh, what a beautiful day, I've got a wonderful feeling, everything's going my way." It had to be "Oklahoma!" Out I pulled it and decided to watch it. I know this was a stretch for the man to watch, but I decided this movie may hold his interest, as it's more masculine than other musicals.

As I was watching it, I wondered who the Persian Peddler character was being portrayed by. I realized it was Eddie Albert. Eddie Albert is probably most famous to us youngin's as being in Green Acres. I always thought he was kind of cute. Anyhow, as I was reading up on him on Wikipedia tonight, I realized today was his birthday. So, today he'd be 105 years old. He died in 2005 at age 99. It's hard to believe he lived so long and yet died so peacefully.

Here's a few pics of one of the brighter starts in the sky:

Victorian and Gibson Girls

2011-04-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

Julia Marlowe

Trip up to Napa - A Day in Pictures

2011-04-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

66th Anniversary of Franklin Roosevelt's Death

2011-04-13T23:41:00.000-07:00

On April 12th, 1945, Franklin Roosevelt was sitting for a watercolor painting at his retreat home in Warm Springs, Georgia. This retreat had been a second home for him since he was diagnosed with Polio in the 1920's. The name of the town represented the springs which people came to visit to help their health. This was especially helpful for those with polio, which it soothed their pain and let them exercise in the water.

Franklin was not with his wife that day, he was actually with his daughter and his former mistress, Lucy Mercer. To Eleanor's dismay after finding out who was present when he died, Franklin's daughter had to suffer the consequences of being the one who arranged for Lucy to be there with him. Unbeknown to anyone there that day, little realized this would be Franklin's last day alive.

As the painter almost completed the painting, Franklin put his hand on his head and said he was suffering a terrible pain in his head. Only hours later, Franklin died of a cerebral hemorrhage.

Being that this is all from memory, I am surprised after all these years I remember the details as if I had been there.

Franklin Roosevelt was always just another president to me. I didn't know much about him and probably up until 1996, all I really knew of him was the role he played in the movie, "Annie." I knew he had been wheelchair bound, but I was never sure of why. I knew he'd married his cousin Eleanor, but again, didn't know the extent of their relationship and the strains it had.

In 1996 I was 14. I was on the brink of finding myself. I was finding interest in things that were outside of my old interests. Frankly, outside of most young people's interests. Being 14 is such a precarious age. You're just starting high school, you're feeling a little awkward and trying to become an adult in a world that still looks at you like a kid. I still was learning things but this year made me grow up fast. My parents divorce was in process and I was losing a grip on what used to be a semi-normal household. Not having my Dad home anymore was upsetting to me. Things were tense. Being at court with my parents or at the attorney offices were not where I wanted to be, and when I got there, I felt torn to pieces. I loved my parents, but seeing them argue and look at eachother in disgust was not what I wanted to remember of their fractured relationship.

I began to find solace in things that kept me far away from those miseries as a possible self defense. I'd stay up sometimes all night, drawing and painting my feelings out. I'd tape shows on the VCR my Dad bought me for Christmas in 1996. I'd tape a ton of biographies, documentaries, old movies, and more. Then, I'd watch them later that night. My VCR really became my buddy, of all things.

Then, as I was washing dishes one evening around Easter time, I caught the tail end of a biography on Franklin Roosevelt. He spoke to the crowd in such an alluring style that I had to stop what I was doing and listen. What was he saying that attracted me to stop and watch? To me, at that time, it was a message of hope. It was a male figure who had strength. Maybe he couldn't replace my Dad, but his words of wisdom and strength more or less became a virtual version of a father figure to me.

I soon wanted to get my hands on anything I could about him. We didn't have a computer or Internet access at the time, so finding stuff on him was either by chance if it came on TV, or I'd look for marked down books, periodicals, or library books about him. I wanted to know more about this president. Not even John F. Kennedy impacted me this much, even though he was president in which was closer to my own parent's memory. Maybe it was because Franklin wasn't associated really with anyone's memory that it felt like this was something I could grab onto and hang onto and actually, in a sense, become an expert with. Wow, thinking about it, Mr. Roosevelt was kind of like a spiritual guidance to me. Maybe not of the purist form, but his virtual presence got me through a tough time, just like his real-ife presence got many Depression-era people through a tough time.

So, I began gathering books on him, reading what I could get my hands on about him. I then began watching numerous biographies on anything related to him. The History Channel had just debuted around 1996/1997 and they were very keen on airing a lot of World War II related material, so I'd tape as much as I could. They also aired shows based on a certain year, so anything between 1932 to 1945 was a sure bet. I'd tape mini-series about Franklin and Eleanor, too.

Before I knew it, I had become an expert on the entire Roosevelt family. I also became interested in Teddy Roosevelt's life, so my interest had branched out into the Oyster Bay Roosevelts, as well.

I would say the near culmination of my 15 year interest in the Roosevelt clan came when I went to Washington, D.C. in 2009, and actually saw the FDR Memorial at the Basin. I was secretly in my glory, walking the memorial grounds, touching his bronze statue and petting a bronze version of his beloved Scottish terrier dog, Fala.

Being there was like visiting a friend to me. I had to buy a few things at the gift shop, as well. It wouldn't feel complete.

No one knew, at the time I was there, how important this felt for me. This was a life long dream to even be there.

I often wonder why, after all these years, if I hadn't caught that moment on TV, where my interests would have changed and gone into a different direction. Maybe I was meant to hear those words of wisdom from Mr. Roosevelt, maybe it was suppose to be entwined in what some call, "what's meant to be" or the "aligning of the stars." Whatever it was, it was for me, being at the right place, at the right time. Many things got me through this tough time, and Mr. Roosevelt was one of them.

So, in commemoration of Roosevelt's achievements, please check out a biography on him either by reading one, visiting Wikipedia or the website of his home in Hyde Park or watch the scenes of "Annie" where he's featured :)

It can happen all in one day..

2011-04-11T23:24:00.000-07:00

From "Design is Mine"

Photo of my Great Grandma on my Mom's Dads side, Annie Sexton Connors, circa 1930's (Born 1878)

(From "Beauty walks a razor's edge" tumblr)

"She left a week to roam.

Your protector's coming home.

Keep your secrets with you, girl.

Safe from the outside world."

Excerpt of "Your Protector" - Fleet Foxes

"Nobody puts Baby in a corner" (Dirty Dancing)

Family History Findings - Loftin/Connors - April 2011

2011-04-10T23:07:00.000-07:00

This posting is to mark my first successful finding of being directly related to someone famous. This isn't being related by a 5th cousin kind of thing - This means I am directly related to George Washington, our first President of the United States. He is my 7th Great Grand Uncle on my Dad's mother's side. Here is the Pedigree:

Mary Ball (1708 - 1789) (George Washington's Mother) and Captain Lawrence Augustine Washington (father of George Washington)

is your 8th great grandmother and 8th great grandfather

John Augustine Washington (1736 - 1787)

Son of Mary (brother of George Washington)

Jane Washington (1759 - 1791)

Daughter of John Augustine (niece of George Washington)

Charles Washington Riggins (1775 - 1847)

Son of Jane

Reeves Washington Riggins (1802 - 1881)

Son of Charles Washington

Sarah Elizabeth Riggins (1841 - 1906)

Daughter of Reeves Washington

Sarah Ethel Cartwright (1887 - 1949)

Daughter of Sarah Elizabeth

Sarah L. Rennels (1909 - 1994)

Daughter of Sarah Ethel

Bonnie Louise Chilton (1932 - 1980)

Daughter of Sarah L.

Dennis H Loftin (1949 - )

Son of Bonnie Louise

Kristen Carole Loftin

You are the daughter of Dennis H

I ran across a family pedigree on my Dad's mothers side of the family that my Aunt had given to me some years back. As I looked at it today, I thought it would be another direction I could attempt to go. I had no idea it would lead me to finding George Washington as a relative of mine.

I think this hits home more because as I was finding the info, it said that Captain Lawrence Augustine Washington died on Ferry Farm. I happened to be at Ferry Farm (just outside Fredericksburg, VA) in October 2009, when my boyfriend and I were visiting my Aunt and Uncle (who live in Stafford, VA). My Aunt loaned us her car for the day and we took it into downtown Fredericksburg for the day. Fredericksburg, I must say, is a very lovely little Civil War town and I think, secretly, my boyfriend and I kinda fell in love with it's charm (and for the fact that Fredericksburg had more than one Vegetarian restaurant!) Just over the river was Ferry Farm. My boyfriend and I didn't know much about it, so we decided to turn in and explore the building that was there (rebuilt in the 1930's after the original burned down sometime before) and also we walked the grounds. Little did I know, this is where my relatives once presided and lived and died. What led us to Ferry Farm that day, I'll never know, but something about it felt like home, as crazy as that sounds.

An even more stranger coincidence, the first day we were visiting our Aunt, Uncle and cousins, we trekked over to Mary Washington's home in Fredericksburg. It was so neat. We weren't allowed to take photos inside, but my mom, and all of us had a lot of fun looking at the beautiful trinkets inside the museum store. I bought a Mary Washington biography booklet, a candle snuff, and a few other things. Again, little did I know I was in the home of one of my direct relatives.

This is such a fascinating find for me tonight, that I couldn't help but write about it.

This goes to show that our family histories can lead us to many exciting places. If you ever have the chance, watch old episodes of "Who Do You Think You Are?" which originally air on NBC on Fridays. Unfortunately, the 2nd season just ended, but I am already anticipating a 3rd season. I know I really am sounding like a complete nerd, but knowing our history is so important. I don't think this can be emphasized enough. I have a feeling my great grandma Mary Washington would have felt the same way.

Happy findings!

What Are Your Activisms?

2011-04-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

There are things and/or issues in our lives that we are passionate about, or in which we represent without really being threatening or are in a non-violent way. Sometimes, I never really feel like I am making a statement by not eating meat, but when I am with a group of people who do eat meat, I realize I am often within a company of one: myself.

So, what are causes that you represent which leave you somewhat at odds with others or make others feel uncomfortable with your position on the issues at hand? There is so much controversy in this world, so without me trying to stir things up too much, I will try not to rock the boat with my views, but instead attempt to enlighten one's thinking and see a different point of view. Here are a few things I am fairly passionate about:

1) Endangered Species & Animal Protection, combined with a less meat centered society - Yes, that is a long one for you, but they all coincide and so I had to wrap them all into a nice, neat phrase. I am a vegetarian. I am mainly a vegetarian for two reasons, 1) Health and 2) Sanctity for animals. When I was younger, my generation grew up being taught to save our rain forests, being aware of endangered species was of high priority, and being "green" hadn't technically become the "in" thing yet, but it was early in the movement and on the docket for experimentation. My generation grew up realizing that Panda's were once almost extinct, along with many other beautiful animals. Wildlife was of large concern. Although wildlife protection is still at the forefront of our world issues today, I am finding that funding and support for it has dwindled.

Back to being a 5th grader activist, I was involved with my own love for animals at the time that I even used an old block of wood in our garage, painted it with fabric paint, and wrote, "Save the Animals." I was collecting pogs of endangered species. Yet, I was till eating meat at the time (except for seafood, for my strong distaste for it). I think for this reason, I had no idea that there were meatless options out there because in all honesty, back in 1993, meatless options were at their infancy, especially in America. Unless you wanted to eat tofu until you pooped out soybeans ad nauseum, your choices were scarce. And, for a 11 year old who didn't know much more to cook except for grilled cheeses and Spaghetti O's, I was kind of out of luck.

So, not until about 6 years ago, after watching "Chicken Run" did I decide to become a Vegetarian. Although, it may sound pretty humorous that a movie such as "Chicken Run" could make me become Vegetarian, I think the movie really hit home with me. It really put a personality with something that was about to be packaged and manufactured into Chicken Pot Pie. Yes, not all chicken farmers are that evil, but the industry is very cut throat.

After seeing so many movies about health-oriented, meat based controversies, I've come to realize we have a very sick industry involving meat (and seafood). We are eating animals in such large quantities, that in the natural order of things, animals being bred at a natural rate can't keep up with our consumption rate. Therefore we are fattening the cows at faster rates ("beefing" them up, per se), killing them and consuming them. Most of the cows we eat today are not happy cows. They are not living a life, they are here for us to die at our whim, at exceedingly fast rates. It's almost too good of a thing. Here, industry and it's revolution have given us fast food, the refrigeration process in order to preserve it, and with that, our appetite for it has outgrown the rate in which it can be provided. Will we ever be satisfied enough?

This is where I say we need to have a less meat centered society. Yes, I'll admit, a good filet mignon definitely gets me salivating from time to time, but now going on 5 years being a Vegetarian, I can honestly now look at cows, chickens, and various other meat sources and know that we're on equal level. I do not eat you, and you do not eat me. We're a happy family!

The solution to such an out of control meat needing society epidemic is within ourselves and our own personal responsibility to this earth of ours and own health.

2) Bed Wetting - Okay, I know this isn't exactly a "true" activism, or a widely known one. But, I support those who have suffered from this. So few of my friends knew of this problem I had growing up. Yet, now that I am older, I am not afraid to speak up with my struggle with it. All the missed sleepovers I had, telling my friends I couldn't stay overnight for so many reasons besides wetting the bed, was hard. I missed out on a lot of those fun nights.

Many parents blame the child for this happening, and think they'll outgrow it. Many parents, unfortunately, will harshly discipline their child by spanking them, or sadly, even more, for wetting the bed. I do know that my own parents had their frustrations with my problem, but they also seeked medical help to understand why I was experiencing it. When I was about 4 years old, my parents, concerned to know why I had this issue, decided to have an Intravenous Pyelogram (IVP) test on me. I do not remember it, but my mother was very worried about me. She said they had to hold me down to get the needle in and that I passed out from crying. Again, even though it sounds traumatizing, I am somewhat glad it happened. They saw that my kidneys were underdeveloped and this was possibly the reason for why I had an issue holding my urine in for a long period of time.

Knowing this helped me understand that only time was going to get me to stop. We had tried every method. Not drinking anything past a certain hour, trying to wake me in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (sometimes it was too late - the damage had been done :( ) and more. When I finally reached the point of not bed wetting for a whole week, then a whole month, then a whole year, I knew I was good to go. The relief was immense, but, believe it or not, I still fear I may wet the bed when at someone's house. That fear will never go away.

It's a shameful experience, but it humbled me in many ways. I learned that there is a prejudice towards bed wetters that needs to be stopped. Although my parents mildly disciplined me at first, when they realized it was not my fault, they looked at it much differently and although I know I caused them many days of sheet cleaning and middle of the night bathes, they had so much patience with me that I am beyond lucky I had them as my parents.

I advocate this cause because I want parents to look beyond discipline as a method of getting your child to stop bed wetting. Discipline is not the answer because it will not stop the problem. And, it will only make your child feel guilt-ridden and shameful. Have an understanding and get them medically tested. Assure them that it's not their fault. Find ways to limit too many drinks at night. Avoid diuretics.

For now, this is all I have on activisms, but I will try to post a few more in the near future..

Weird Things and Observations That Make Up My Unique Self

2011-04-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

1) My blog comes off about all me, but, really, I do like to discuss heavy stuff. I didn't take college Philosophy and Humanities for nothing!

2) I am trying to de-allergize our home. My allergies are usually terrible this time of year, and I feel my efforts of getting rid of pillows that were causing me allergies and getting better pillows and pillow protectors, a coverlet instead of a heavy bed spread, cleaning out corners filled with stuff that's not getting used and vacuuming them out and dusting the area, has actually been the best Spring I've had since my early teens for allergies.

3) I am vitamin D, thyroid and somewhat iron deficient. Probably muscle mass deficient, too.

4) My favorite ink pens are the Pentel RSVP, Fine mark.

5) The Beatles are still my favorite band. I discovered them during their "Anthology" era, circa 1994-1995. Not through "Glee"

6) My favorite Gel pens are the Pilot G-2 10. Hands down, best Gel Pens. Ever.

7) My favorite Butternut Squash Ravioli are from Fresh & Easy (new grocery store from Southern California now making it's way up to the Bay Area).

8) Yes, I am short. Yes, I look young. Yes, I am 28 years old. No, I am not in Junior High. No, I do not want a kids menu for 10 and under.
9) I remember when floppy discs were actually and literally floppy. And, yes, that's what she said.

10) My favorite online radio station is Atlantic Sound Factory.

11) Recently discovered that Mike + Mechanics self-titled 1985 album is actually way better than average.

12) Weird food combos I like: Mayonnaise on my grilled cheese, eating grated Parmesan on a fork, butter on cantaloupe, ketchup on tacos.

13) Things I've liked since I was a little girl: Elephants, unicorns, tulips, Mickey Mouse, koalas, drawing, Victorian things, Reeses Cups, roller skating, waterslides, my Grandma's ranch and more.

14) Things I've liked since I've turned 16: Audrey Hepburn, Shadow of a Doubt, Bocce Ball, John Singer Sargent, Berthe Morisot, Vivien Leigh, My Fair Lady, a good, cold Hornsby, drawing and painting, antique shows, Armageddon, Moonstruck, Errol Flynn, and more.

15) I get cold in 70 degree weather (kind of like Sally in "When Harry Met Sally")

You Are The Master of Every Situation

2011-03-31T22:50:00.000-07:00

Sometimes just a simple fortune from a fortune cookie can enlighten you, if only maybe for a brief moment, but to maybe steer your mind off that negative thinking my uncle calls a "rocking chair" (because you keep on rocking, but it gets you nowhere.)

I purchased a book sometime ago that I found at the bookstore. I didn't buy it due to the fact that I needed help to think happier thoughts, but I really liked how it made it easier to derail bad thoughts and turn them inside out. This book had reason behind just telling you to think positive. It gave me a reason why I should, rather than just saying it. It's a lot harder to hear those words and instantly think happier thoughts. We all have the ability to think positive, but sometimes you can dig yourself into a hole of many negative thoughts that it may take hours for you to realize they are worthless and mean nothing. To read stories to back up to thinking better thoughts at least gets you in the right direction.

We all have those days where we're always feeling down or constantly reworking a situation in our head and wishing it had turned out differently. Then you end up reading some enlightening advice and think, "If only I had felt this way at the time."

The book I purchased was called "The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People" written by David Niven, Ph.D.

Here are some great tid bits from it that I always think are great, all backed up by scientific findings.

#14 Share with others how important they are to you: Relationships are built on mutual appreciation, and there is no better way to show that appreciation than to tell someone how much you care.

One excerpt that I found very true is as follows:

'Perhaps they thought that telling others we care means being vulnerable. For these people, relationships may be more of a competition than a celebration, and competitions are premised on strength, power, and position. Researchers caution that we don't win at relationsips, we win by having relationships.'

#25 Don't be aggresive with your friends and family: Even if you are right, there is nothing to be gained from letting yourself become adversarial with your loved ones. Remember how much more important these people are to you rather than is the issue you are talking about.

#38 Share of yourself: Don't hold inside your feelings, your thoughts, your hopes. Share them with your friends and family. People who hold things inside tend to feel isolated, believing that others do not understand them. Those who share feel both supported and more content, even if events do not go exactly as they wish.

and a few more,

#66 Take care not to harshly criticize family and friends.

#71 Don't accept television's picture of the world

... all of these are very insightful. I didn't have enough time (and need my glasses to read the small print in order to type them in here) to put some more in, but I think you can see how this book works. Of course, with each suggestion they give, they write a page or two of scientific studies supporting this advise, and sometimes stories of how people could have or did use this advise.

What makes you a happier person? What are the things that get you down? What are things you wished you could have done differently in life? And, with those things we wish we could have done differently, should we set those thoughts free and move on from them?

New and Old Musical Discoveries

2011-03-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

This new year has brought some new discoveries and some favorites that disappeared and have re-entered my life.

Here are a few musical discoveries I've recently taken notice of:

Fleet Foxes: It's hard to pinpoint to what style their music can be classified as. It's not alternative music, as it's a lot softer and less brassy.

I would say Fleet Foxes is like a neo-folk revival of sorts, with a modern twist. I was first introduced to their music when a friend of mine posted their "White Winter Hymnal" on her Facebook Wall during Christmas. I really fell in love with that song and the very poetic words, yet how simple it was, all the same. See the lyrics below:

I was following the pack

all swallowed in their coats

with scarves of red tied ’round their throats

to keep their little heads

from fallin’ in the snow

And I turned ’round and there you go

And, Michael, you would fall

and turn the white snow red as strawberries

in the summertime..

Another favorite of theirs that I've discovered is "Your Protector" This song has a similar sound to it, but has a neat, Native American battle hymn sound to it.

Here's a video of it, however, it's not an official video and just shows imagery of scenic landscapes. I usually can't stand these kinds of videos, but this one is very well done and worth posting.

More on the folk side of things, I recently happened upon a nice folk/country style band from Australia called The Beggars.

A few songs of theirs I enjoy so far is "The Banjo Song," and since the banjo is probably one of my all time favorite instruments, how could I ignore this one!

Please listen below:

They also have done some nice covers of other songs, such as "I'll Never Find Another You," "

"I'll Never Find Another You" The Beggars

And here's the original, which I've always liked, by the Seekers (1968)

And, you know what, the lyrics are pretty darn sweet, too! Which version do you prefer more?

Well, as they say with Six Degrees of Separation, Youtube had to recommend to me tonight another world famous band of much larger magnatude. Good ol' ABBA.

Although ABBA were a Swedish band, their music crossed all over the world. I think because they had somewhat of an International sound, as one would call it, is why they suceeded. They had infectious tunes with infectious vocals.

Here's one of my favorites by ABBA, Fernando:

Movie Spotlight: West Side Story (1961)

2011-03-25T21:48:00.000-07:00

When I was around 12, I remember my mother and I talking about movies and she mentioned West Side Story as being a favorite movie of hers while growing up. I asked what it was about and she told me it was like a modern version of Romeo and Juliet, a love story and a musical. Wow, I thought, this sounds good! Again, I was only twelve and just didn't know much about musicals aside from Annie and Cats. I still LOVE Annie, by the way :)

West Side Story was more of a "thinkers" kinds of musical. Something with more substance. It also won multiple Academy Awards, including Best Picture, so something told me that this movie was not your average musical. My mother and I rented it and watched it.

I fell in love with it. It was so much more than what I thought it was going to be. The music, which I never had heard before, was so electric and beautiful and jazzy. Little did I know then, it was scored by Leonard Bernstein, who's become one of my favorite composers since then. I thank West Side Story for introducing me to him.

It introduced me to Natalie Wood, who was such a beautiful choice for the film. She really did make me feel so pretty and made me want to dance around singing that I was. Her acting, I think underrated in this film, was of rare quality. I find her most poignant acting was at the end. I really find it one of the best performed scenes I've ever seen in a modern film. It always moved me to tears with the pain her voice and the feeling of loss that she emotes through the screen No, this couldn't be done by many actresses her age.

The other stand out performance was by Rita Moreno, who won an Oscar for her role, and was also exceptional. The top award was very well deserved.

The film itself, is colorful, thoughtful, directed at a perfect pace, and cast to perfection. There may be stereotypes in this film, but this movie is all about stereotypes. The Sharks were stereotyping the Jets and vice versa. It was a story that said old bygones couldn't be bygones, and because of this, it impacted everyone involved, hurting and paining those around them. The women in the film, especially saw through the men's useless fighting and rivalries.

Maria (Natalie Wood) was a Puerto Rican living in Manhattan, specifically on the West Side. Her brother is the leader of the Sharks, a Puerto Rican gang. When Maria falls in love with one of their rivals, Tony (Richard Beymer), who's in the Jet's, the fighting between the two gangs become more and more trivial as their love begins to gain more meaning, while shades of color and ethnicity fade.

Without giving too many details, I suggest you watch this film if you haven't. Not because it's a classic film, but because it's truly enjoyable and it's one of those films that will leave an indelible mark long after you've watched it.

Until this day, my heart still goes a-flutter when I hear the strains of "Tonight, Tonight" or "Maria."

Just to show the impact the film had on me at the time, I eventually bought the soundtrack a few weeks after I watched it. I listened to it so much. I would dance in my room to the Dance scene (the scene inside the Gym), one long and varied dance sequence of various different musical styles. Even catching the movie from time to time on PBS or other channels, I will stop what I am doing and finish watching it. It deserves it :)

Family History Findings - Cooper/Marris - THE BIG UPDATE!

2011-03-21T19:54:00.000-07:00

It's amazing. My tiny little blog, brought together a family that hadn't seen one another in 30 years. All of my research on Ancestry.com and writing about my findings here on my blog led to finding my boyfriend's cousins in New York City (and some even further away!) actually resulted in more than I would have ever imagined!

It's a story too good for TV. We got to meet them this weekend in San Francisco along with my boyfriend's sister. They were (and are) such a nice group of cousins and in my mind, I feel like my boyfriend has gained an exciting, funny, articulate and warmhearted "new" family. It was a like a belated Christmas gift.

Not only that, but one of his cousins was so sweet to make a copy of a photo of my boyfriend's mother when she was young and give it to us. I almost wanted to cry. It was so fun to talk about the family and get to know so much about his mother's side that I thought I'd never get to know. And, here they were, in the flesh!

I guess as some would say, if you seek, you shall find!

More to come...

Some of my life in Pictures

2011-03-16T00:17:00.000-07:00

I seem to be on a blogging roll here, so I guess I will just keep on going... :) Why can't I be as enthusiastic to blog on my business page this much? I will. I guess I just need more motivation right now to develop the kind of page I want without having to spend a fortune. I will somehow work around this, just you wait and see! * maniacal laugh emerges *

Anyway, here are some pictures from my growing up days and songs that I associate with that time!

1987 - At Grandma's - This is my cousin Melissa and I on my Grandma's ranch. There are so many special memories I often envision of us running on this property and feeling so free. My Grandma's ranch has always represented freedom in my mind and I feel my most free when visiting her property. Like with all passing of time, things are never quite as idyllic as those childhood days, but pictures like this show just how meaningful these moments are to us.

Song association: "Got My Mind Set On You" George Harrison

1992 - Me, holding one of Samantha's kittens. I believe this is Gizmo. We named him that, but we gave him to a friend of ours who renamed him BG. I still remember him as Gizmo. Sadly, Gizmo, passed away just a year or two ago. This was the summer of 1992 and I was about to enter 5th grade in a month or two, but wow, what carefree days we had during this time in my life. I look back and 1992 was such a fun time. I was ten years old here. Lot's of great music associated with this time of the year.

Song Associations (more than one, for sure): "Smells Like Teen Spirit" Nirvana, "Bohemian Rhapsody" Queen, "I'll Be There" Mariah Carey, "Good Vibrations" Marky Mark & The Funky Bunch.

1989 - Easter Bunny at the Mall. I was seven years old and I remember this being a real afterthought as my mom and I were about to leave the mall. We decided to do it at the last minute. I remember really disliking this photo, as I thought I looked really disheveled, but the more I look back on it, I see such a youthful time in my life. No regrets now!

Song Association - "Eternal Flame" The Bangles

1990 - 1991 - Krissy, Jennifer and Tiffany - All of us were close in age, but I was the youngest of the group. We were all dressed up to participate in a talent/beauty contest at our local mall. It was for fun, but I took it seriously, more than I should have. I look back on some home movies of it, and I could see how I reacted for not winning and thought, "Wow, I am glad I went to a public school after this year because I needed an attitude adjustment." Public school was definitely a wake up call. I wasn't spoiled, but I could see I would have ended up acting that way.

Song Association - "Straight Up" - Paula Abdul

1987 - Scott with Cooler. We just brought Cooler home. He was only a few months old and bursting with energy. I loved his sweet face and eyes. We were told he was a Cockapoo. Not sure if this exactly what he was, but he was a mutt, in a sense. We went to Dublin to pick him up, after being told he was black and white. My mother was looking for another dog to replace the one we had just lost due to her slipping out and getting ran over. It was really hard on my mom to lose her little Lady, as we called her. She was such a tiny little doggy, but she left a mark on our lives, despite how short we had her. We luckily had Cooler for about 6-7 years, and he was such a fun dog. I'll never forget you, Cooler.

Song Association - "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" Starship

Vitamin D and Multiple Sclerosis

2011-03-15T22:41:00.000-07:00

When I was in my college Nutrition class about 4 years ago (Wow, where did the time go?), I learned a lot about how vitamins work in our bodies, and how they're especially (& most importantly) absorbed better from their natural sources rather than through fortified foods or pills.

Some of us have deficiencies with vitamins and other essential nutrients, such as amino acids. Cholesterol, I also learned, can only come from animal products, not from plant based foods. Nutrition was, and still is, very fascinating. And, to be honest, it's quite a balancing act to achieve healthy nutrition with temptation all around us.

One vitamin that I have never really given much thought of was vitamin D. I always knew that they called it the Sunshine vitamin, being that we mainly absorb it through the sun, or rather, our bodies process it from the ultraviolet rays and turn it into vitamin D.

I also was reminded recently that high volumes of vitamin D can also be found naturally in lots of fish, eggs, and mushrooms.

But, what I wasn't aware of is all the power vitamin D has over us. We're always so aware of vitamin C, that we seem to ignore a great deal of all the other vitamins out there, and we're very likely deficient in those more than vitamin C. I think hardly any of us in America will ever get a vitamin C deficiency unless we are either deliberately denying our bodies of it, pirates on a ship for a few months, or are just not well rounded eaters.

So, what's the connection with vitamin D and Multiple Sclerosis? Well, when I ran across this connection in several articles, it alarmed me a bit. For one, I wasn't even suspecting this connection and lastly, who would have thought the two would have ever been connected in some form or way.

What I found was that those who were low in vitamin D, happened to be within those who have Multiple Sclerosis and that several studies have shown that adding more vitamin D into an MS patient's diet, showed that it helped their chances of not getting another relapse or at least prolonged another one. This is great news for those who have this mysterious disease.

Now, the reason I bring this up and why it concerns me is that MS does run in our family, mainly my mother's side (it hasn't shown up on my father's side, as far as I know). It seemed to have stemmed from my Great Aunt Doris, who was diagnosed sometime in her '30s, yet may have had symptoms much earlier on (i.e. she had very poor eyesight as far back as being an infant, which is a sign of MS), then my Aunt (my mom's sister) was diagnosed also in her '30s. Then it hit home, with my mom getting diagnosed the year she turned 50.

I have no idea if I am carrying this yucky gene, but since my mother has it, it wouldn't surprise me if it's floating somewhere in my system, ready to spring on me one day. My mother had me get an MRI when I was 21, as I was having Ocular Migraines, in which I was losing my vision temporarily and then it would return. I was also having gait issues (walking goofy, lol), in which my leg would like to skip steps or it would just involuntarily burst forward when it felt like it. This still happens, although very rarely. I am prepared for whatever happens, if these are the early symptoms of MS, then I know I can take it on, but maybe if I watch my vitamin D intake, maybe it will prevent me from getting an MS attack in the near future.

So, maybe finding this out about my vitamin D deficiency was a blessing in disguise. I want my mom to now get a vitamin D testing to see what her levels are and hopefully this will help her out, too.

Good Health - The Check Up

2011-03-15T18:18:00.000-07:00

Well, after my anticipated visit to the doctor and after some bloodwork, I finally have completed my physical. It wasn't needed, but I hadn't had a true physical in 4 years and I knew that there was some bloodwork I probably should have checked, especially for my cholesterol. My cholesterol hasn't changed too much, so that made me feel better. I think my ratio could still be better, between my HDL, LDL and Triglycerides.

When I was getting my physical, the doctor looked at my skin and said, "You're a little on the pale side, but that's probably because it's Winter, but I feel maybe since you haven't been getting sun, maybe we should check your vitamin D." So, I thought, yeah, that doesn't sound entirely bad. They also decided to give me shot #2 of Gardisil, which is a preventitive vaccine for cervical cancer. It doesn't cover all of the types of cervical cancer out there, which is caused by the human papillomavirus (HPV), but it does cover I believe about 5 variations of the virus, so that's not so bad.

I got a call last Thursday that I do in fact have low Vitamin D. Actually, when I asked how low, I didn't realize just how bad I was. I am at 14, when the normal low should be about 40. So, being that the sun isn't going to be at full force for another month or two, they are giving me a prescription strength vitamin D through my pharamacy. I am glad I did this test, as I would have never suspected I was deficient.

Other than that, most of my results were good. My iron could be a little higher, but I am going to make an effort to bring it up. If I need to eat some red meat, so be it.

Word for Wednesday - Catawampus

2011-03-09T00:07:00.000-08:00

Okay, I didn't use the random word generator for this one. But, because after spending an evening with one of my friend's tonight and hearing her pretty funny story about how one of her work colleagues pulled this word out on her, and then she then in turn having to prove that colleague that it was not a real word, and then finding out it was indeed a real word, just made me think, this is definitely a word for Wednesday.

So, for some weird reason, I keep thinking of "can of whoop ass" when I say this word fast, lol. Sorry for sounding so juvenile, but it really does sound like that at first.

This word generally means that things are in disorder or, in more polite terms, askew.

Thinking of this word makes me think of other goofy words, such as lambasted, jabberwocky, katzenjammer, tintinnabulation, snollygoster and mollycoddle. They really sound like words you'd find in a Dr. Seuss book. Or, maybe in a Shel Silverstein book. Or, words being used by the Mad Hatter in Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland."

From what I am finding out, a lot of these slang words that sound goofy to us, were probably used rather widely when they came about. Just as slang comes and goes with each generation, these words have survived, but just sound plain silly to our modern ears.

Yet, 50 years from now, I am sure telling someone to "Google-it" may look at us kinda goofy. Or, if we point to someone who has a brood of 6 kids and look amazingly attractive, we'll say, "They're a "Brangelina," I am sure our grandkids will just roll their eyes at Gram and Gramps goofy, dated terminology.

Word for Wednesday - Popularity

2011-03-02T22:51:00.000-08:00

I have decided to attempt my own version of a special "day" on my blog. I am calling it Word for Wednesday. I choose a word from a random word generator and write about my feelings about this word. To be honest, I don't know of anyone else doing this on their blog, so please don't be mad if you think I stole it from you.

If you want to join in on the fun, go to this random word generator website.

Today's word: Popularity

This word brings about such a mixed bag of feelings for me when I see it. The word popular alone makes me think of cheerleaders, New Kids on the Block, Justin Bieber, sliced white bread, rap music, American Idol, Summer blockbuster movies and more.

These aren't necessarily negative feelings towards the above. I guess I am sort of just passive with my thoughts on the above. I can give or take them. When I was younger, I wanted to be a cheerleader like my mother was in High School, but realized as I grew more into my teenage self, I was more the reclusive, bookworm, sensitive artist nerd that I still secretly am deep inside today.

Popularity has always been a fight for me. I never not like being misunderstood, but maybe because I am not as quick witted as some people, I think I come off a little "slow" with my comebacks and quips. I, however, know I can be very fast thinking around those I am close to, it's just I need to get to know people before I can really let loose. This may be why as first impressions go, many people probably misunderstand my intelligence. OKay, I am not saying I am a super smarty pants, but I think some people's first impressions of me might be on the surface and they might think I am flightly or not well equipped enough to talk about fighter planes from World War II or a dissertation on the music of Charles Gounod, but gosh darn it, I can!

Yet, knowing those very obscure things may really isolate people, especially people who are in their 20's and early 30's. Hence, the title of my blog. To most of that generation, and the one I so happen to be living in, I completely do not fit in. As I've said before, I never have smoked, drank until I was drunk, drink and drive (well, may have with just a little in me) and never really had a house party while the parents were gone. My mom and I are actually eachother's best friends and I love my brother, well, like a brother!

So, to be honest, you might see why I am not very popular and why the word popularity still often challenges me and what I stand for. It's going to be a struggle for me for a long time, but for some reason, I have remained to stay popular with my friends and family and they love me still, so that's all that matters. If I am still popular with them, that's all that matters to me.

Some not so popular people, things and places I like:

Nerdy guys with curly hair, like Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg - if they're Jewish, they get extra points for me!

Old Actors and Actresses of Rare Beauty:

Errol Flynn

Vivien Leigh

Dirk Bogarde

Musical Artists Kids My Age Would Probably Cringe Listening to:

Mark Knopfler Elton John

John Denver

What are some of the things that you like that aren't so popular? What about the things that you do you like that are popular? And, what really makes something popular? Is it opinion or fact?

What to do on a rainy day

2011-02-24T23:19:00.000-08:00

I am one of those rare people who actually thoroughly enjoys a rainy day. Even a rainy week. Even a rainy few weeks. Does this mean there's something wrong with me? I don't know. Sometimes I feel weird that I like the rain because so many people can't stand it. I can totally understand what they mean, though. I just happen to like both kind of weather fairly equally, sunny and rainy, I will give or take them.

So, for those who have a hard time enjoying their day in the rain or seeing the positive in it, remember these points of perspective:

1) Rain is the best "white noise" one could ask for. Just cuddle up in your warm bed and enjoy the piddle paddle of rain drops hit the roof top :)

2) It's the best excuse to plug in a chick flick, put on a robe, and drink something nice and warm, and enjoy a day in.

3) For some reason, a rainy day actually makes me more productive in the home. I am forced to get things in order and clean things out. Since it's raining, I may as well do something productive inside and burn calories in that sense.

4) When the rain takes a break, go outside and splash in the puddles with the kiddies (I don't have any kids, but you can be a "big" kid)

5) Rain clouds are gorgeous, ominous, moody, makes me feel like Tess of the D'urbervilles.

6) If the sun decides to break through at sunset, you're guaranteed a most awesome sunset, full of beautiful colors from all over the spectrum.

7) As many say, or as I say, with some sunshine, one must experience a little rain. In essence, a little rain doesn't hurt for us to acquire some time of reflection. Maybe a time to pause and take notice of nature's hold on us.

8) Rain is our natural sprinkler system. This means not having to stand in the yard watering a bunch of plants. It also means many beautiful rolling hills of green and gorgeous wildflowers growing after a little sun hits them.

9) For many countries, even continents, rain is something the people want desperately. Let's remember if we get rain, it's quite fortunate for us.

10) Rain allows to clear out impurities in the air, such as pollens, pollutants, and various other things. Doesn't the air smell the best after a good rain?

I will always love you, oh, rainy days... you're welcome in my life :)

Moving on Up

2011-02-24T22:46:00.000-08:00

Well, today I finally trekked over to my old stomping grounds at Los Medanos College in Pittsburg, CA so I could have admissions complete a form for me so I could receive some financial aid for my next endeavor in my art studies.

Although I will be attending an astronomically expensive private art school in San Francisco (yet, still cheaper than Oakland's California College of Arts & Crafts), it's really my only choice at the moment. All Cal State and Univ. of Cal colleges are either too far away for me to drive, do not mix with my work schedule and/or there's still the need for me to complete two courses in order to transfer over to them. Two courses, that to me, seem almost pointless for an art student to even taken - Statistics Math and Intro to Speech. Sure, if I had hit rewind and decided to take these courses four or five years ago, I think I wouldn't mind wasting a semester taking these classes because I had time to waste. Now I don't. I know I could have made better decisions involving my schooling in the past, but hey, I did graduate community college with honors, so 'nuff said :)

So, I had to wait for the admissions lady to come back from lunch so she could fill out the form. I waited about an hour, wandering around campus, reading a John Singer Sargent book at the library, sneaking a peak at the Art Gallery's newest exhibit, reading the school newspaper, reliving memories of times spent on campus. It was a little bittersweet. Here was a school where so many memories are stored. The more I walked around, the more I saw how things really have evolved over the years. Many of the kids I once knew at this school were long gone and graduated, and here I was still hanging around after almost 10 years of college. I still can't believe it took me that long to finally graduate, after switching majors two times, I finally made it out.

One of the more bittersweet memories is not seeing a lot of the former faculty that used to be there. Some dead, some retired or some just moved on to other schools. Some of the older parts of the campus have become abandoned, and yet, many memories in the old biology lab linger for me as I went passed the doors.

When I returned to get my paperwork back, it was with a sense of relief and again, a sense of sadness that a college that held so many memories for me, was now a place going further and further into my past. The school will likely get a major overhaul sooner or later, and most of the places that were once familiar to me will be completely gone, but for now, in writing, I can hang onto them.

Family History Findings - February 2011

2011-02-18T21:56:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been awhile since I actually have posted a Family related blog, so I thought now would be a good time.

I have had a "Snapshot" book of images of my relatives from North Dakota in which I crafted myself about 14 years ago! I actually had made it the night Princess Diana died and wrote in it, since it was such a historic day!

My Grandma had loaned it to me with a box full of timeless and beautiful photos, and I knew, that quite possibly, it would be the last time I may ever have my hands on it, so my mother and I took it to a copy machine and copied the photos. Back in 1997, digital prints were not the norm or to be honest, didn't exist, so to make a pro copy of each of these photos was going to cost a pretty penny. I knew the copy machine at our local Long's Drugs actually made very good copies of photos, from using it in the past, so we took it down to that one and made endless copies at 10 cents each.

When we got home, we had loads of copies and duplicates, but we both knew it had to be done. This album, for all we knew, could become misplaced, get put into the wrong hands or just simply disappear. We didn't want to take any chances of not preserving our family history. I am so grateful each day to look at these pictures, and even if they aren't the world's best clarity or sharpness, they're as close to the real thing I'll ever get.

So, after we got them home, I decided to make my own version of the original album (the original album was leather, but had a very unique shape to it and looked handcrafted. The world Snapshots looked to be engraved into the leather). I used some vintage looking construction paper for the front and back covers. I then had cut out each copy of the print exactly how they looked originally and then pasted them onto more construction paper. I then colored in any white or colored spots with a felt pen to be consistant with the black pages. I then bound it with red silky rope like ribbon, after punching a two whole in each page. Voila! It actually was hard work, lol, but I was determined. So, here is a tribute to all that hard work, done on that fateful evening of Princess Diana's death, August 30/31st 1997.

(By the way, these are my mother's relatives on her mother's side. They were all full blood Germans living on the prairie of the southern part of North Dakota. The terrain is obviously very flat in most of these photos. All of these photos were taken around 1914-1916)

Click on each image to see full size:

So, who's who?

Lydia Herr - My Great Grandmother (B. 1896)
George Roehm - Lydia's husband, and my Great Grandfather (B. 1893)
Lucy Roehm - George's sister, my great, great Aunt (B. 1897)
Martha Herr - Lydia's sister, my great, great Aunt (B. 1898)
Fred Roehm - George's brother, my great, great Uncle (B. 1896)
Charles "Stoney" Roehm - George's brother, " "
Jacob Herr - Lydia's Father, my great, great grandfather (B. 1874)
Christina Herr ( aka Grandma "Orth" Herr)- Lydia's Mother, my great, great grandmother (B. 1876)
Solomon & Orville Herr - Lydia's younger brothers
Doris Roehm - George and Lydia's first born, my great aunt (B. 1915)
Sophie Herr - Lydia's sister, my great, great aunt (B. 1901)

Sick :(

2011-02-13T10:22:00.001-08:00

Rather than go on Facebook and digress how terrible I feel, I will talk about it here.

Yep, caught something and am wondering if it's from my recent trip to Target. I feel like each and every time I got to Target, I am sick a few days later. I guess I am going to really have to be mindful of avoiding touching my face while shopping or accidently getting my hand near my lips and nose. This actually should go for most places that have shopping carts littered with germs.

But, I guess it's just one less virus I will have to fight off when I am 80-something.

Well, back to resting for me. Computer time just feels too exhausting for me at the moment.

Here's hoping to feeling better for work tomorrow!

Grammy Nominees for 2011

2011-02-08T22:12:00.000-08:00

Here are some of my votes for the 2011 Grammys.

Best Alternative Album should go to:
Broken Bells

A sample piece of their music:

Best Male Pop Performance - I would say it's a toss up between Michael Jackson's "This is It" or Adam Lambert's "Whataya Want From Me."
Best Female Pop Performance - The female group is pretty weak, but if I were to choose, I think the best would be "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga. I think the weakest of the songs is "King of Anything" by Sara Bereilles. I like her work, but then grow tired of it very quickly.

Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group - Being that Glee just covers songs, I have a hard time giving them a Grammy. I know it's mainly based on performance, but I must admit that even though they perform these songs well, they do not stick with me like some other songs would. I would say, the strongest link in this group is Paramore's "The Only Exception," even though their work in the past never wowed me, this song is by far light years ahead of the others in this category.

Best Dance Recording - This is actually a very strong category, with a lot of good dance recordings nominated and some surprises, too. Unfortunately, the one that Yahoo! readers choose as the winner is Rihanna's Only Girl in the World, which is probably the weakest in the group. Yet, still, a pretty strong choice. I think the two best in this group is Goldfrapp and Robyn. Both had a great year for dance music!

How do you relax? De-stress? Chill?

2011-02-01T00:37:00.000-08:00

It's an interesting concept, but there are things, as humans, that we crave, and being that we no longer roam the earth, trying to stay alive by finding food, fighting off disease and mammoth sized animals, and the elements, we now instead work 8-5, have our weekends off (most of us, that is), and then look forward to a few vacations a year.

I wonder how our ancestors relaxed? Was their way of relaxing maybe having dancing rituals? Maybe smoking a pipe in their tee-pees?

Well, as time went on, we certainly found ways to find time to relax, sometimes without sparing any expense, we began building fancy ships, secret hidaways, reading a good book on a remote island or on our porch, possibly.

These days, my ways of relaxing are quite varied. Of course, having a certain budget, relaxing becomes simpler based on more simple living. Here are my ways of relaxing:

Simple relaxation methods:

1) Writing letters or reading old letters

2) Reading a novel or biography

3) Cleaning (not heavy duty, lol)

4) Organizing

5) Watching a good movie

6) Chatting with friends

7) Going on websites that inspire me to think more creatively

8) Making meals or desserts

9) Beautifying my home (such as new sheets, new pillow cases, adding finishing touches of decor)

10) Drawing and Painting

11) Sorting through photos from the past

12) Listening to some of my favorite tunes and finding new ones

13) Playing board games

14) Taking a bath

15) Lighting candles

16) Thinking happy thoughts of past and present memories

17) Driving around

18) Aerobic exercise

19) Swimming

20) Shopping and Browsing clothes and other girly items. (I know men have a hard time relating to this as relaxing, but most women do find this relaxing)

21) Watching really lame girly shows

22) Stopping by Ancestry.com to discover more family history

Today, I received a large, bubble wrap enevelope in the mailbox. It was really unexpected and I thought for sure it was not for me. However, it was! It was a gift from my English friend, Jo. She and I have been writing to one another since we were 14 years old. That means we've been writing for about 15 years! Wow! We still have never met, but I would still love to make the attempt to meet her. When she was about 15, her mother passed away suddenly, from a rare blood disorder. Jo, from her letters to me, I could tell, was not the same since her mother passed. I can tell, although she doesn't elaborate about it, she has been in a much more fragile state since this happened. I know she's trying, though. She's hung in there despite the pain this sudden loss caused her.

She was so sweet to let me know she was doing well and sent me a calendar of London and a really cute flowery fabric case that has the British flag emblem on it. It's really unique.

Having these gifts, and looking at them, really brought me to another place, it gave me a slice of another land that is so far away to me, yet so close to others who've traveled the world. I don't envy those who have, but yet, I wonder if they truly appreciate it. I know, if I got to go to London, or anywhere outside the states, I'd be one of the happiest people ever to do so. I don't have an urge to live there, but it's just I am aching to see another country and experience the beauty of another land.

Also, having my friend in England is like a connection to my own family's past. I feel like this is where many of my ancestors lived once and I get to be friends with someone who lives in a country where my ancestors were from.

The reason I bring this up is because thinking of these thoughts after receiving her gifts gave me a very relaxed feeling. I must admit, I am a daydreamer. I wish I didn't have such an overactive mind, but it's just in me. It's another form of relaxation for me, so I do not have to think of things such as debt, money I wish I had, or money I don't have. I can just imagine I live in a rich world, full of all the things that inspire me. Many of my dreams have actually been like this lately (except for a very odd dream of my ex and his wife squeezing a bottle of vaseline on the floor - I would really like to know where that dream came from? lol)

Anyway, whatever forms of relaxation you may have, do what works for you. If daydreaming of hopping on a plane and traveling somewhere far or just envisioning yourself achieving a goal; it's healthy and don't give up on it!

Doctor's visit, Billy Wilder's "The Apartment," Smetana's "Ma Valst", and a New Hairstyle?

2011-01-19T22:59:00.000-08:00

Well, this will be another busy time for me in the next few weeks, with birthday's to celebrate, visiting with friends I haven't seen in awhile and some doctor visits.

I have been getting some lower abdominal pain lately, or more like over the course of a few months and I would like to determine what it is and why it's occuring. Is it from heavy lifting, like a muscle strain? Is it something more occult? I am only afraid of the cost to find out at this time. An ultrasound may be the best route to figure out what's wrong, but I am not sure if an ultrasound is more costly than a regular x-ray. I will have to discuss this with the new doctor I am seeing on February 1st. Boy, is he going to have an ear full from someone who's only 28 years old, lol. Carpal tunnel issues, abdominal pain, allergies, unknown bug bites on my arms, foot issues, lol

I'll keep you, my fellow readers, posted on these issues!

Next, Billy Wilder's "The Apartment."

Over the years, I've heard of this movie being very good, as it was nominated for many Oscars and ultimately won Best Picture. Jack Lemmon and Shirley Maclaine do a wonderful job. Shirley Maclaine even outshines Jack Lemmon, showing a lot of sensitivity to her character. Jack Lemmon is great, but his character seems more two dimensional until the very end, where they finally have their game of gin rummy together and know they were meant to be together.

Also, some other fine acting by some other actors, such as Fred Macmurray, as Jack Lemmon's boss, who is also the lover to Shirley Maclaine's character, and yet, also a husband to a family who know nothing of his womanizing ways.

One of the other fine examples was Jack Kruschen, Jack Lemmon's neighbor who tolerated Lemmon's comings and goings. He delivered some wonderful humor to each scene he was in and whenever he was there, he really stole each scene from each character.

My good friend Ian has been recommending this movie for years, and I thought in his honor I'd give it a try. Now I can tell him I did finally watch it.

Now, Smetana's "Ma Valst"...

Bedrich Smetana is a composer who I learned about some ten years ago. I believe I heard his music for the first time on Sacramento's classical station.

I was introduced to "Ma Valst" at that time, which is a sweeping orchestral work which is in four movements. The first two are my favorite. The first movement, "Die Moldau" is probably the most famous of the movements and probably the most beautiful. It's his tribute to his homeland in what is now the Czech Republic.

If you want to learn more about Smetana, please find articles on him on Wikipedia or find musical pieces of his on youtube.com.

... And, a New Hairstyle?

Well, I feel I am due for a new haircut and style, but what to go for is the question. I am trying to grow my hair long, possibly down to the middle of my back. But washing it and managing it is a lot of work already, and it's about 2 inches from reaching the middle of my back.

Here are a few styles I am considering, inspired by some lovely ladies:

Camilla Belle - This is the length I am aiming for and since she has bangs, this is ideally how I'd like my hair to look (since I already have bangs). Yet, I'd still like to lose about 10lbs to even attempt looking this pretty, lol

Short of it...

Natalie Portman - Well, this would be an extreme. Believe it or not, I attempted this exact hairstyle back in 2004, after being inspired by this cut. And, I even got bangs again for this cut, even though I had just painstakingly grown them out 5 years earlier.
Well, this cut was hard to manage for my hair type and being that I had kind of a crappy hair straightener at the time, I couldn't get those razor edged ends that she got. Now, with the hair straightner that I have, I could easily do this style with more precision. Being that Natalie Portman and I have very similar face structure (really, I am not complimenting myself, lol), I can still see myself with this hairstyle, just done right!

Prokofiev, Russian desserts, dancing and Netflix

2011-01-15T09:23:00.000-08:00

Well, tonight turned out fairly interesting.

I at first was interested in reviving to start dancing again, as a couple, so I looked online to see what was available. Cooper and I had gone to Two Left Feet in Danville (you can also go as a single; couples are not required) when we were just friends, and it was fun and entertaining, with a slew of interesting people (the first time we went, there was this dude that was like a big bear and he liked me as his partner and showed it, lol. Then that same night I had to dance with an Ed Grimley looking kind of guy and Cooper was stuck with a lady that looked like Yoko Ono, who danced very stiff. Ed Grimley guy was just awkward, that's all, lol) To say the least, I think when Cooper and I had to dance with eachother, it was with welcome relief!

We went again a few more times and one of the hardest things for me in the education of dance is looking into the partner's eyes. These were strangers and I just have a hard time looking right into someone's eyes, even moreso when I've never met them, so this has always scared me off from dancing as a couple. Dancing by myself? No sweat, lol.

Anyway, I have sort of been interested in dancing the Line dance lately. I am not sure why, but it seems like fun. I think I like the patterns it makes and how everyone gets in sync. I think I also like that it's fairly relaxed.

I also like other country style dances, and to be honest, I have no idea why all of the sudden. I remember in 6th grade we were required to do the Dosey-Doe and Square dancing and I only did it for a week or two, but it was a lot of fun! I liked the outfits we had to wear and, again, I liked the way we interacted with one another. Maybe I liked, too, that maybe I had a chance dancing with the boy I liked, haha. Such a teenager, I was!

Anyway, maybe we'll try to do something in the next few weeks. Line Dancing is cheaper than Salsa and Swing, so maybe I can get Cooper to do it!

Now, Prokofiev. For some who may not know this wonderful composer, I really and highly suggest his work for listening to on any given night. I have always had an affinity for Prokofiev ever since I heard Peter and the Wolf during Disney's classic cartoon version of the play/narrative, as seen below:

Peter and the Wolf was the only work of Prokofiev's I knew as a child until "A Christmas Story," used his work, as well.

Then, as I began listening to more and more classical on the radio heading into my teens and throughout my twenties, I began hearing the following gems, some that you may have heard and others, possibily not:

From Liutenant Kije, the Sleigh Ride:

Romeo and Juliet, The Young Juliet:

I am curious that I may possibly buy some tickets to see Prokofiev's 1st Symphony at the Davies Symphony Hall in San Francisco on January 26th.

We'll see. My fondness for his work has gotten me more interested in him and this would be a great chance to see some of his work performed live.

Speaking of Russian Composers and Russia in general, Cooper and I decided to stop at a Russian restaurant tonight to see what kind of food they had. We didn't quite feel like it, but then we got captured by their desserts. We had a few tastes of them and they were yummy. Being that we were both hungry, we ended up buying a slice of each 6 desserts. Yikes! It added up to $33.00, lol. But, now we have a fridge full of very interesting desserts. One even came from Verona, Italy, the Russian owner said. While we were waiting in line to ask about the desserts, I took a quick peak inside the restaurant area and it felt like I had stepped back into time and into another country. The walls were all wood paneled, with Victorian-like fabric paneling on the wood, and then there were chandeliers and a wooden piano, in a deep rich mahagony color towards the back wall. I felt like a little kid peaking inside. I really wish I had my camera on me at that moment. It felt like a cryptic scene.

And, lastly, when we left, we went over to intentionally have food at the Kabob House, but then we were lured into this other restaurant called Chef John le. It was pretty good food.

After that, we came home and watched a Netflix movie that had come in. I had put this on order months ago, as it's a Woody Allen movie I've been wanting to see for many years. It's called "Hannah and her Sisters." It had a huge amount of movie stars in it, including Mia Farrow, Diane Weist, Barbara Hershey, Michael Caine, Maureen O'Sullivan (Mia's mother in real life), and Carrie Fisher, and oh yeah, Mr. Neurotic himself, Woody Allen.

It was pretty good and pretty funny. I am glad I watched it. I am finally watching enough Woody Allen now to finally "get" his appeal. I mean, he isn't a looker, that's for sure, but he is very likable.

So, after that was over, I began to write this blog post, but then I heard a distant cat meow in our backyard. I turned on the backyard light to find nothing. It scared me a bit, as I started thinking in a Woody Allen paranoid kind of way that something bigger and scarier was out there. So I saved my blog post, shut the blinds and the computer down, called my mom and then went to bed.

Sophistication

2011-01-11T18:46:00.000-08:00

(Audrey Hepburn in "Sabrina")

In today's society, it has become exceedingly difficult to find someone who is the ultimate epitome of a sophisticated woman. Or, is it that someone like Audrey Hepburn raised the bar so high that it's almost impossible to reach?

Audrey is a perfect example of a woman who made all the right moves. Even if she was divorced twice, there were no scandals involving her in these divorces. Even if she did play an accused Lesbian in "The Children's Hour" or a call girl in "Breakfast at Tiffany's," we still saw her portraying these people with the utmost amount of sophistication.

Audrey just made very good decisions in her life (maybe smoking was her only huge flaw, but back then, we didn't know the harms of it until much later). This may be why she rose above the standards, even looking more regal than most monarchies.

Very few today can pull this off, but let me show you what I do not find sophisticated that some women think is sophistication:

1. Any of the Real Housewives...

Even though I will watch these shows, I am in no need to reenact their lifestyles, looks or attitudes towards living a good life. The only one I could see myself (sort of) relating to is Kim Richards (on the far left).

2. Sex & the City

Don't get me wrong, all of Carrie Bradshaw's shenanigans are great for the small screen (and big screen) and the stories are always entertaining, but the lifestyles led on the show are still not the same kind of sophistication I am seeking in my real life. A woman doesn't need a martini glass and a fur jacket, she doesn't need to be at the latest and greatest nightclub, she doesn't have to be breaking her feet wearing stilettos. Let's not be a slave to fashion, let the fashion work for us, girls!

3. Anna Wintour (Vogue Editor-in-Chief)

Bad attitude, bad posture, bad scowls on the face and everything else about Wintour is not so nice, yet, again, this keeps us normal folk interested in a person that could even be as mysterious in her ways, the Anna Wintour way, that is. She may have the last word when it comes to the September issue (fashion's biggest month), but she doesn't always hit the right note with her taste. And, again, as they say, attitude is everything!

Other things not so sophisticated:

1. Getting hammered over the weekend or weeknights

2. Botox in your '20s.

3. Breast implants larger than a D Cup (Do girls honestly want back pain that young?)

4. Pole dancing

5. Looking down on others and starting cat fights

6. Facebook profile photos taken while you're hammered or kissing someone

7. Showing your panties or lack thereof while getting out of a limo

8. Smeared makeup after a long night of hard drinking

Here are my kinds of sophistication:

1. Cowgirls done right

If you're going to end up going dancing at a white trash bar, be a cowgirl for a night and do it right, Urban Cowboy style!

2. Mad Men's Peggy Olson

If you want to not be like all the other women on the show Mad Men, then give yourself a liberating voice, like Peggy Olson (Elizabeth Moss).

Other Sophisticate things to do or be:

1. Being tipsy, but not drunk
2. Being creative
3. Knowing your limits
4. Cooking a solid meal that doesn't have to be judged by Bon Appetit!
5. Knowing where you've come from
6. No cake make up
7. No miniskirts up to you know where
8. Some self-restraint, but still revealing your true self
9. Ordering a pizza and watching classic movies by yourself, with a $2 bottle of wine.

Family Photos - Father's Side

2011-01-10T23:23:00.000-08:00

In Honor of my Aunt Carol's birthday today...

Grandma Bonnie, 2nd from left, Easter 1944. Sisters Norma and Dottie are on the far right. Norma became known as Aunt No No. I still write Aunt Dottie and she's been so kind to mail me things and photos over the years. I sometimes see a resembelance to Aunt No No and I.

Aunt Joy, Uncle Steve, Aunt Carol and Dad - early '60s

Aunt Carol and Dad, early '50s.

Dad, Aunt Carol, Grandma Bonnie and Aunt Joy - early '60s.

Grandma Bonnie at pool with kids, including Joy on left, Carol in the middle and Dad on the right.

Dad, Aunt Carol, Aunt Joy and Uncle Steve, 1950's.

Grandma Bonnie, feeding cousin an egg, Easter 1943.

Grandma Bonnie, late '30s.

The Tucson Shootings

2011-01-10T23:10:00.000-08:00

Just a short blog post that this has been very upsetting to hear and watch. I am saying my prayers for the ones who have been wounded for survival and I am also praying for the families of those who have lost loved ones from this tragedy.

It's really sad that a punkish kid can just go randomly shooting innocent bystanders at a small political rally.

I have been to Tucson and the surrounding area while visiting my Dad (who lives in the small suburb of Tucson called Marana) in December of 2009 and I found it a very wonderful city and beautiful part of Arizona. It saddens me now that Tucson will have this event attached to it for as long as the memory of it is kept alive.

Let's just remember this could and can happen in any city or town in the US, due the hostile movements in politics.

Again, hopefully we can be more aware of these people roaming the streets and keep them away from the public or have them better evaluated. It's hard to pinpoint some personalities, but hopefully extra effort will be taken.

Inspirational Songs

2011-01-10T22:04:00.000-08:00

Some songs are very inspirational and get you feeling good. I always love to hear a bunch of high energy songs when I am on the road, maybe heading to do a photoshoot or even just before I get to work to motivate me and wake me up. It's always fun to hear songs that have meaningful and positive messages, as well. If they have both, fast and upbeat tempos and upbeat messages, nothing can get you going more.

Here are a few of my favorites over the years!

Reach - Gloria Estefen - I first remember watching the video on VH1 and then watching her perform it at the Closing Ceremonies. It was a dramatic Olympics, especially with the shooting in Atlanta and the US Women's Gymnastics team. The Summer Olympics happened to on around the time I began my first year of high school in early August of 1996. Overtime, though, this song has proven to be very inspirational for many people around the world.

Green Grass - Gary Lewis & the Playboys - Driving around and listening to oldies with my mom, this one always got me in a good mood. Again, this has such an upbeat tempo and happy words.

Make it Happen (Live) - Mariah Carey - I've always loved this MTV Unplugged version more than the original recording. I've owned this CD since it came out in the Spring of 1992 and the song has some of Mariah's most motivating words and messages I've ever heard from her. Plus, again, the upbeat tempo begs you to move!

Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees - The title says it all, aren't we all just trying to stay alive?

Dancing Queen - ABBA - This song is just infectious and one can't help but want to dance and feel good while listening to it. This song really does bring back memories to my 17th year, too, and not just because they're mentioning it in the song, lol My 17th year was one of the best years of my life, mostly because I met my future boyfriend that year, and my life changed with that first meeting.

Got My Mind Set On You - George Harrison - This was one of the first videos I remember capturing me, making me literally stop in my tracks and actually watch it. I was only 6 years old, but I remember literally playing in my room, and then this song came on and I stopped in my tracks and just totally enjoyed the song. All that time I had no idea it was George Harrison, one of the Beatles. After that day I hardly ever heard the song again and never knew who did it until 5 or 6 years later. I think, again, there was something about the upbeat tempo and positive message that brought me to take notice of the song. I think I also thought he was attractive. Maybe that's why I had to sit and watch the video. One of my first celebrity crushes at the ripe old age of 6.

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Well, there are many more inspirational and happy go lucky songs I could post, but I am running out of steam tonight!

Is there a right way?

2011-01-09T23:43:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine recently posted the following article on Facebook: Why Chinese Mothers are Superior, from the "Wall Street Journal" by Amy Chua, an Ivy League school teacher and also went to Ivy League schools, herself.

As I was reading the article, and I could relate to the author's point of view. She was raised by Chinese parents and is a person of Chinese heritage and knows of it first hand.
However, I don't know if the article should be so heavily based on just the Chinese only and then group all others as Westerners. Westerners is such a loose term. She did acknowledge that there are some Westerners she knows who mother similarly as the Chinese women (What about the men?)

I have a few disagreements about this article, and maybe because I am a Westerner myself, I guess I do have some defense about this touchy topic:

1) It's hard to base that all great mothers come from one race. I know many wonderful, warm Chinese parents who are not drill sargeants, making their children robotic learners at their parents every whim, and who have succeeded just as well. I also have met some Chinese parents who have sadly taken this road of drilling their children to exhaustion of being the best. These children were nice, but I could tell had social issues and were not like typical children. They were shut out from a natural environment and regulated to the indoors all day long, in a tough regiman. Fortunately, some of these children were still able to watch TV and movies, unlike Amy Chua's daughters.

2) Good parents, no matter where you're from, will know how to moderate their children's activities. I find it a little ridiculous that not allowing a child to participate in a school play was found as dastardly by the author of this article. Since when did memorizing lines for a part in a play and participating with other children become such a bad thing?

3) Children expected to get A's for their parents will not make them any more passionate for what they're learning. Children need to be taught in many aspects and ways, and I believe hands on learning with shapes, visual images, colorful and imaginative ways, is key to a child's success. As Mrs. Chua's husband points out, maybe their two daughters are different, and one can't play the piano at the same rate as the other child. It obviously was a struggle to get the second daughter to play the same song that the other daughter had an easier time doing at the same age. This still means they learn differently. The younger needed more discipline, the other didn't. These children are NOT the same and will learn at a different rate, style, etc. This doesn't mean they should baby them, but I don't think they should be deprived of or threatened of some necessities, such as sleep, food and water, to get a song correct on the piano. Did this lady ever see that scene from the movie "The Red Violin?" She may have had second thoughts about how she drilled her daughter.

4) I hate (but also would love) to say it, but one such example of good parenting, I believe, is my own parents. My mother didn't have to use scare tactics to get us to get A's. And if we didn't get straight A's, we weren't sent to prison for it. We were told to do better, but my mother still was always enthusiastic, reading to us our school books to us, helping us with our math, often asking my Dad for some help with the tougher ones. My Dad would also sit at the table with us, helping us with school projects such as making a family tree totem pole or helping my brother make a mechanic car for an 8th grade elective project, almost losing his thumb in the process. The important part were my parents were involved with our education. They didn't shove us aside and say do your homework so we'd stay out of their way. They were active in our education, and that, to me, is more important than having to earn that A each and every time. My parents knew we were doing our best because they were there helping us. We'd often stay up late into the night trying to get that last piece of math homework done. I'd go to class exhausted, but determined to get it done.

Overall, a parent's presence is really the key to a child's success, not having them tell us we're lazy and pathetic, such as Ms. Chua's way. That's just as bad as just not being there for them, period!

Holiday Recap and "A little night music.."

2011-01-06T22:43:00.000-08:00

Well, so far the beginning of this year has been keeping me busy. We celebrated New Year's Eve at Marie Callender's. It was actually a lot of fun, as they had Karaoke and fun dance music. It was very family friendly. Highlights from this was that a semi-drunk man kept coming up to my mom to tell her she looked like Barbara Eden from "I Dream of Jeannie." Another perk was that the back room had a camera in the other room where the Karaoke and dancing were happening and everyone could watch all the different people dancing, which turned out pretty hilarious! I laughed pretty much the whole night!

Plus we got to all cram into the bar area and watch Dick Clark and Ryan Seacrest, on big screens, bring in the New Year. I think we did good this year. Who knew Marie Callender's could deliver? They even gave us free New Year hats and whistles.

Coop and I then went home to rest and then the next morning decided to go over to my mom's and stay over night in Antioch to spend it with my mom and Jeff, and play games. Unfortunately, I felt like I was coming down with something. So, I had to back out of the last hour of games later that night to rest for a bit.

I can't believe I fell asleep through Saturday Night Live blaring in front of me, and 3 other people laughing and talking just a few feet away. I have to look at that as good news that I can actually sleep through all that noise :) Yet, my body must've been telling me I really needed to rest. I think whatever I thought I was catching ran it's course that day and night. I am still surprised it didn't turn into anything worse (crosses fingers.)

Another thing that I did over the holidays was photograph an engagement party hosted by a family from Jordan in Livermore. The dancing was incredible to watch. It was so much fun to see dancing from a culture so different from our own Anglo-Saxon traditions that we're so used to. The dancing was very traditional, yet it was very individual to each person. The music was also very fun and hypnotic. I got to photograph with my cousin Tiffany, which was also what made it even more fun. She and I were like sisters growing up, playing with Barbies the whole weekend through, watching movies together, skating together - so, it felt good to be with her again, even though we're both older now. It felt like we were kids again. The videographer was also a lady, so it was nice to have a trio of female picture takers documenting this engagement.

Over Christmas, we first visited with Coop's immediate family at Barney's BBQ on Clayton Rd to visit while his brother was in town. We then ate at the Carvery on Christmas Eve with my family, including Grandma and Grandpa Purviance, Tiffany and her husband Brian and their two sons, Ethan and Evan; Aunt Penny and Uncle Ed; my mom and Jeff; Cooper and myself; my mom's cousin Cindy and her daughter, Sara. It was smaller this year, but it was all good. Sara made us some yummy drinks at Penny's house, there was more pie than we needed, but isn't that how all holidays go?

We all got some fun exchange gifts, and of course, there was some ruthless trading, j/k. But, all in all, we made out pretty good. We got to help Aunt Penny clean house afterwards, and then lounge on her couch after all was said and done.

I will try posting photos up soon!

On Christmas Day, we were up early and then had to get ready to head over to the Cooper household in Pacheco for some yummy Christmas late lunch/early dinner food.

It was fun to see Coop's sister and her kids, as well as his parents, Helen and Herb. I enjoyed helping Helen clean up the mess, yet I even was feeling overwhelmed of all the dishes accumulated. Poor Helen always outdoes herself. I always feel so bad for her. After we were done, we drove back out to Antioch to open presents and enjoy games for the night.

We all got some wonderful gifts. I received a few movies, including the Disney animated version of Alice in Wonderland and classic Shirley Temple movies. I love being vintage :)

I also got a beautiful coat from my mother and Jeff bought us a $50.00 gift card for Best Buy. My Dad got us some great gift cards that I was not expecting, including a $50.00 gift card for Cooper for Southwest flight. I am trying to plan a trip, possibly in April, to stay in NYC. I have a free round trip ticket to use up that I earned with my Rapid Rewards card. I am itching to get to NYC!!

My Dad also got an electric Kettle. It's so strange he got us that because Cooper's been on a tea making kick lately and it's a perfect alternative to him heating it up in the microwave in the morning.

Cooper got me something I have been eyeing awhile, which was a writing tablet for the computer. It's a Bamboo by Wacom. I've been trying to get used to it, and so far, it's different, but fun to draw with on my Photoshop CS4 program. It will take some time, but I think it will be an excellent tool for some unique creative looks to my photo editing.

And, to not end my Christmas festivities just yet, I met with my good friend Ian at California Pizza Kitchen for a get together. I really enjoyed our time together, as it had been awhile. We exchanged some gifts and also shopped at Barnes and Noble together. Thanks, Ian, for a good time out!

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So, now, for the "A Little Night Music..." portion. Please enjoy the following selections that I have also been enjoying...

The Crash Years - The New Pornographers

White Winter Hymnal - Fleet Foxes

A New Year Will Begin...

2010-12-31T08:32:00.000-08:00

Where has this year gone? It's so scary to think how fast it's past on by. 2010 was marked by some milestone moments in some of our lives and some also not so great moments, but I must say, 2010 was a much brighter year on my end on many levels.

For one, instead of going to 3-4 funerals like I've done in the last few years, I only went to one. Money was tight for most of the year, but things are looking up now with both of us making more income now.

Now that I've graduated with my 2 year degree, things are looking up for earning my 4 year degree.

Like all years, 2010 really had a mixed bag of ups and downs, lessons to be learned, and wisdom to be gained. I always appreciate the wisdom I've gained over the course of another year of life when I've looked back on things. I always want to improve upon myself the best I can, and if I can find some inner courage and wisdom, then I feel I have come out okay.

Here are a few of last years highlights, if I can remember them correctly, lol :

January: Grandma Purviance celebrated her 81st Birthday on January 3rd. Cousin Melissa had her baby Willow on January 19th. I began my last semester at community college in late January.

February: Not a momentous month, but did visit Yosemite on Valentine's Day weekend.

March: Cousin Tiffany had her 30th birthday on March 1st. I was toying around with the idea of buying a digital SLR camera around this time in order to start up a photography business.

April: Purchased a Nikon D90 around Easter time. Also on Easter, Grandma had a mild Heart Attack and was hospitalized for a few days while they put new stents in her. This was not a so great month due to this, but she healed up fast. I also got my Ancestry.com subscription back up again and began fervently doing research.

May: I celebrated both my birthday and graduation. I thank family and friends who came to my graduation! We also had our first studio style photoshoot at the end of May.

June: For some reason, June must've been not a so exciting month. I need to look back on old blog posts, because I am not remembering much about this month, lol.

July: Celebrated July 4th with my mom and her boyfriend and my boyfriend. We were able to do a photo shoot at Hap Magee Park in Danville with a model at the end of the month.

August: Got my first paid shoot. Celebrated my brother's birthday and my Dad's birthday. Secured a Wedding shoot for November, and the engagement session in October.

September: Not a lot happened this month. Had a few shoots that were free of cost. Helped my mother get to her physical therapy appointments.

October: A quiet month at first, with my niece Lauren's 1st birthday on the 2nd and the engagement shoot on the same day, then had several shoots at the end of the month. The Giants head to the World Series. Also went to Healdsburg for the weekend of the 16th and photographed a Crush event for one of my mom's longtime friends. A very nice and relaxing trip to the wine country.

November: Had a few trickling photoshoots with models, and also had two family shoots, one in Benicia and the other in Oakland. Also, photographed the wedding on the 20th. We decided to take a small hiatus from model shoots to recover from editing overload. ** I also wanted to note that my cousin Noelle gave birth to a beautiful boy named Joey this months, as well **

December: A fairly quiet month, but did some odd jobs here and there to earn a little extra money on the side. Tried to paint more oil paintings so I could give them away as presents. But, I must admit, giving away a painting is really difficult to do, lol. Had a very nice Christmas and looking forward to a nice New Years weekend :)

Family History Findings - December 2010

2010-12-22T22:59:00.000-08:00

Since this month has been fairly busy for me, it's been difficult to gain much new territory on my family history. But, earlier in the month, I was able to get in a few moments here and there to study some interesting family facts.

Loftin/Connors - Well, I was getting into the Loftin name a lot the last few weeks, and ran across this website - The Loftin Family - devoted to the Loftin's who originated from the same man. We are also from this same branch, the branch of Leonard Loftin.

There's a very interesting breakdown of how this branch of Loftin's happens to be related to countless Queens and Kings of many European countries, including, King Phillip of Spain, Edward I of England, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Henry II and III and several Earls, Duchesses and Baronness'. Of course, this is extremely diluted blood we're speaking of, as this goes as far back as when Jesus was born, but it's a fascinating history to follow!

Alter Egos, Nemesis, Body Doubles and Pure Schizophrenia

2010-12-18T22:25:00.000-08:00

After viewing the potential Oscar Best Picture nominee, The Black Swan, you feel like you've witnessed a mix of two films - the schizophrenia style of "A Beautiful Mind," with the hard core determination of a Ballet star and her demons, similar to the movie "The Turning Point." Yet, this movie also unveils characters I have yet to see in a movie so far. At least a mainstream Oscar contender.

Natalie Portman seems to pull off many of the sexual/sensual scenes still with plenty of innocence, or just because no matter what, she's just plain likable no matter in what role you see her in. Yet, for years, I never, ever expected her to take a role to this point. Parts still shocked me and in my mind, I was like, "Whoa, she's actually going to do that." And, for Mila Kunis, she was just plain raunchy, with a capital R. Yet, her performance was still excellent and very daring. I can't say the scenes they had together were my favorites in the movie. I was more involved with Natalie's character, Nina, to blossom and develop as the Black Swan. She did, but at that point, she was in full Schizo mode. I won't give out too many details, but let's just say parts of this movie left a grown man behind me squirming in his chair, saying, "Oh, God.. ewww.."

*** Spoiler Alert ***

Part of me wonders, though, after watching this movie, how can I relate to Nina and how she wanted to take on the role of the White Swan and the Black Swan?

I know, in my life, I have felt this sense of desperation, such as wanting to earn A's in my classes. I've often felt this way when getting in classes that were too full, such as in my last semester at community college. The trepidation of not getting into class felt very similar to how Nina felt not getting the lead in Swan Lake.

I think many of us have felt this way about getting a job we've desperately have wanted, as well. So, in that respect, I could totally relate to Nina's character.

With Nina's relationship with her mother, a woman who gave up her dream of a top ballet career to raise her daughter, seemed to suffocate Nina's every move. Even putting in Nina's mind that she was scratching her self to points of bleeding, yet in reality, Nina was not (as seen at the end, it was all delusional brainwashing so Nina's mother could keep her and control her.)

I could see Nina's struggle to please her mother, yet wanting to break free from her, as well.

Then comes in Lily (Mila Kunis), who is Nina's near nemesis/alter ego. The person Nina would like to be, but just doesn't have it in her. Nina is frigid, controlled, technical. Lily is free, lucid and passionate. Nina is attracted to this aggressive personality, yet frightened of it at the same time. Lily is pushing Nina's way of thought, and whether it was the drugs in Nina's spiked drink or pure reality, Lily eventually takes Nina to a whole other level - again, something I wasn't quite prepared for to watch.

Eventually, as the movie moves on, Nina becomes more delusional than ever, and as the viewer, it is hard to tell if you're actually seeing reality or fantasy. From my perspective, and now looking back on it, we were seeing it from Nina's point of view, so all of the fantastical/super sensual scenes were more or less not reality in Nina's mind.

Nina soon begins to recognize that Lily is feeling more like a rival than a friend, or least in her mind, she is making this up.

*** Spoiler Alert Over ***

So, with this movie, I can relate to Nina's character on many levels. I can understand her pull to be more independent, her innocence and trusting nature, her demons that she's fighting inside so people won't take advantage of her, her frailness on the outside, yet her hard as steel determination on the inside. There are many reasons her character, for all of it's flaws, can still be very much true to how many of us feel in our lives.

Maybe this movie, on a higher level of contemplation, is really trying to tell us, as a society, that hard work and determination can nearly ruin us to the point of delusion and craziness. So, let's loosen up maybe and not work ourselves to the bone.

Okay, my rant is over...

2010-12-16T23:12:00.003-08:00

So sorry about my earlier rant. I think I was really just needing to write out some feelings about things and it really helped to just get it down, if at least not on paper, then on the world wide web, where everyone can read it, lol.

But, if a video couldn't say it better than this about exactly how I feel about Facebook, then I don't know who could pull it off better.

Ahh, some good comic relief in the world of Facebook-dum.

Stop the world and let me get off

2010-12-16T08:36:00.000-08:00

Is there ever a time in your life where you feel overwhelmed? I am sure we've all been there.

I often wonder, what are my goals in this life and where will I be when I leave this earth? Will I be comfortable knowing I gave of myself 100%?

I am a hard worker. I put a lot into everything I do, but at some point, I feel like I want off this merry go round, and would like some peace.

It's pretty obvious we live in a high octane lifestyle. If you've noticed over the years, with the onset of CGI graphics and super sound systems and high definition, our world is on a super highway of super-sensory. We are being fed so many images everyday by our computers, by our TV's, magazines, iPads, iPods, iTouch, and everything inbetween, that it's no wonder we can't just turn our brains off and relax a little. And, just when we want to relax, no sooner does our addiction to these things creep in and we have to get back into it again. I am there all the time. A day without being on the computer has become an awkward feeling. It used to be I didn't rely on a computer for my information when younger. Children and teenagers these days probably would have no idea what that felt like. They wouldn't realize that most kids used to read the newspaper for their information or watch the TV news or just play outside.

I will admit it, I am tired of keeping up with the Jones'. It's an exhausting thing. Yes, I want to be successful and be stable and happy, but at what cost? Not being with my family? Working overtime every day?
Facebook doesn't help this problem. Facebook is wonderful as far as keeping in touch with friends and family from all over the world on a daily basis, but it is also on super sensory mode with it's ads and gadgets that say, "You may know this person? Become friends!" or "Poke this person to say "hi" It was cute at first, but now Facebook has become a way for a lot of people to really filter out what they really think and post their accomplishments. Do we always have to read our friend's news about getting a bonus every five seconds? Do we always have to have a smile on our faces while on Facebook? Because honestly, no one's going to see whether or not you are smiling because Facebook isn't all about your Face, it's about being in-your-face about sharing bragging rights. (I will admit, I have been one to unconciously brag on Facebook and I kick myself everytime it happens)

I don't want to sound all Andy Rooney and all, but I guess what I am trying to say is that our society is or has become more superficial than ever over the last ten years.

It's really a sad day that people from the news or home videos get the auto-tuned treatment and all of the sudden they've become celebrities. Instead of 15 minutes of fame, these days, even 2 minutes of fame can catapult you into the books of celebrity. Yikes.

What songs were popular when you were born?

2010-12-14T22:58:00.000-08:00

Even though I have know recollection of these songs when I was born, I still grew up with them playing on the radio and throughout even my teens. I still often discover some fun old "new" songs from 1982 that I didn't know of until recently.

What songs were around the year you were born?

Here are a few from the year I came into this world:

Scandal - Good-bye To You

Paul Davis - Cool Night

Dan Fogelberg - Leader of the Band

Roxy Music (featuring Brian Ferry) - Take A Chance With Me

John Mellencamp - Jack & Diane ("Suckin' on Chillidogs outside the Tasty Freeze...")

Ronnie Milsap - Any Day Now

The Family Stone... it keeps on a rolling!

2010-12-07T21:28:00.000-08:00

I wonder if I should rename my blog to Family History Findings because I seem to be focusing more and more on that.

Yet, I also am still throwing in some postings that are of random memories or just what's on my mind.

But, I will admit, I am really a dork about most things that most girls my age would be yawning over. I guess I am just a true old soul who loves the past (and not always my own past, but the past of a by-gone era). My posts also reflect my current favorites in music, movies, people I admire or just random other things.

So, for anyone reading out there, is my blog definitely boring the bejesus out of you or is listening to family history stories making you get all hot and heavy? lol

Well, anyhow, as my post title states, it's time for a roll call. Should I shake things up around here for 2011?

My blog name may need a new title come 2012, as that's the year I turn 30 and I will no longer be an average twentysomething, instead I will be an even less than average thirtysomething.

What is this enigma of the '30s behold? Will I end up a cat lady or will I eventually finally own a home and be successful at my job(s)?

The '30s have always bespoken to me a time of desperation for many women out there. Our biological clocks are ticking at an ever rapid speed heading into our '30s and we begin to question our physical beauty, as we start to see things on our bodies we never expected at our ripe young early '20s. We have to start worrying about more health woes that tend to hit women in their '30s. We begin to start rethinking our lives. Well, these things haven't happened to me yet, but women in their '30s, from what I've read seem to think of these things the most. And, I totally get it now.

Anyway, age is really a number, but let's not forget it because it's important to keep tabs of what we're capable of doing at a given age. Maybe we can zip line in Costa Rica at age 60, but let's not count on it, lol.

OKay, well, enough of my ramblings...for now, at least!

Inspirational Song

2010-12-07T00:27:00.000-08:00

Well, this isn't religious or anything, but it helps one get through a tough day when the chips are down:

Firework - Katy Perry

Sunvalley Mall Memories

2010-12-06T00:26:00.000-08:00

Remember when the '80s was the era of the Mall Rats? Time seems to have changed this perception of the mall rat, but kids still are the driving force of a mall's success, as seen by the stores that seem to be inside most malls these days.

What mall did you frequent when young?

The mall I probably have the most memories for is Sunvalley Mall in Concord/Pleasant Hill, California. We also had an open air mall in Antioch called County East Mall (Now an indoor mall as of 1990 and renamed Somersville Towne Center.)

Yet, although I have a lot of memories of County East Mall/Somersville Towne Center, Sunvalley probably holds the most for me.

Probably one of the first memories for me that I don't remember, but have always heard about is when the plane crashed near Macy's at the center of the mall 2 days before Christmas, 1985.

Here's a few photos of some of the damage:

Supposedly my mother had either just left the mall when this happened or was about to go there. I can't remember now exactly how it went, but how scary this must've been for onlookers and especially for those who were injured and most sadly, the ones who died.

Yet, apart from this, Sunvalley eventually remodeled after this happened. The mall was pretty much in it's old state with those old light fixtures back in 1985, but after the crash, they removed them. It also appears the wood paneling above the stores were removed and the standard looking signs gave way to more innovative signs for each individual store's theme. It appears they kept the same tile work up until I was about 9 years old. I remember when they installed the current ground tile work that is now at Sunvalley.

Here's a list of stores that I remember being there that are no longer there and the store(s) that have now taken their place:

Anna Miller's Pies (Now Johnny Rockets) - Closed sometime in the early '90s. We used to stop in here and take home a pie or two. I still walk by there and totally remember the setting. There was a row of boothes and it was actually sunken down. Anna Miller's are surprisingly still surviving in the state of Hawaii and have kept their same logo that I still remember.

Walgreen's (Now part of Subway - outside and Anchor Blue - Inside; next door to Johnny Rockets) We used to enter the mall through Walgreen's all the time. Not sure why this was a favorite spot for us to come through, but I think we liked to pick up a few snacks and drinks before officially entering the mall.

Pet Store (Now Perfumania) - It's hard to believe there was once a pet store inside the mall! We loved visiting it, though, and enjoying looking at the cute animals. One Christmas, my cousin's cat had kittens, so we took them to that pet store so they could be sold. As a final goodbye to them, we got our photo taken with the kittens at a nearby photo studio in the mall (or it could have been inside Sears, not sure, though).

My Sweet Dream - (Now Luggage Store/Backpack store, near Perfumania) - I LOVED this place. It was full of candy, gifts, balloons, knickknacks, cards, mugs, and other fun things. It was just loaded inside and absolutely cluttered, but it was fun! We'd always end up leaving with some of those milk chocolate hearts :)

The Home Furnishings Section inside Sears - Probably very few current residents know of this being inside Sears. It's now where the mattresses are. But, it was like a hidden vault of Sears furniture. It was like a fantasy land in there. Part of me wishes to have gotten photos of it. They had an entire '50s style bar with mannequins and a jukebox, which displayed some of their kitchen furniture. Then they had an area where the beds were, and a wolf inside a bed with Little Red Riding hood. It was kinda interesting now if I think of it, but we LOVED going in there because the whole room was painted black and it felt like you were on a stage with spotlights on you.

The Halloween Shop at Sears - Few people may not remember this either, but every Halloween, Sears would have a really big selection of outfits they'd sell. People would wait in line to pick their outfits out because they'd get sold out fast. This was usually held in the back of the store, near the Auto section.

The San Francisco Music Box Company Store (Now Candy Shop near Macy's Mens) - This store was full of beautiful music boxes and knick knacks, but most of these items were way out of price range for us, but we always enjoyed looking at them. I know my brother didn't like it so much.

The Green Parrot (Downstairs, now Quiznos) - Damn you, Quizno's! Why did you have to "remodel" our beloved haunt, first known as the Green Parrot and then later changed to just the Hauf Brau? I actually have a really hard time walking past it without not wanting to go inside and pick up a tray, order that yummy turkey, tasty stuffing, a small salad and then pick up some pumpkin pie for a little treat. Then go inside the back room and enjoy a nice little lunch and/or dinner. It was first owned by a man named Eli, whom we got to know in the late '80s and who always served us well. Then he retired and the restaurant, we thought was closed, but then reopened under a new name, the Hauf Brau. It had a new owner, but very much the same food. We assume he must've known Eli. He wasn't quite as friendly as Eli, but we could often get him to crack a smile and he'd began to open up more and more to us over the years as we got to know him and his staff.

This actually really makes me sad that they're no longer there. We went there SO much, as we'd often take home to-go orders for my Dad and brother after a long day of shopping. It would also be the first place we'd hit before shopping for the day or the last pit stop on our way out. It was a mainstay and when you're young, you never think these people are going to be gone someday and that the scenery will change. You just think it's always going to remain the same. But, as time marches on, so do our lives and the changes that come with it. I miss them all (the servers and chef) and do hope, sincerely, that they are doing well and that they are missed.

** There will be more to come... **

Postcards

2010-11-28T11:09:00.000-08:00

Here are some old postcards that were sent to my Great Grandma Lydia in the 1910s, 1920s and 1930s.

Family History Findings - Was there a murder in our family?

2010-11-28T11:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, I might be really overthinking this, but my investigative skills have been at an all time high lately thanks to Ancestry.com's help (and having it feed my addiction to investigating useless information.)

After hearing stories about my Great, Great Grandfather disappearing over the years and then getting more details from my grandmother on Thanksgiving, things started to add up in my head. Why was my Great, Great Grandmother kicked out of her home and all her furniture and belongings taken away after he couldn't be found? Why would anyone do this to someone who is the victim of a missing husband, and worse, why would family do this to her? This just wasn't adding up in my head.

I found an actual date that he went missing, which was 1926, much earlier than I thought.

One of the few photos I have of him is from around 1916/1917 and at a huge picnic in Wishek, as shown below (He's the one with the arrow pointing at him and name next to it, his daughter (my great grandmother, Lydia) also has an arrow pointing to her and Lydia's husband, George Roehm (my great grandfather) has just an "x" on him):

I decided to just Google his name and see what came up.

To my surprise, a few things did pop up. However, I was hoping for an old newspaper article to shed some light on this mystery, I have not yet ran across one just yet.

Yet, I did find some very interesting court documents that appear to have now been made public since they're so old (from 1916).

The court document I found was a suit Jacob Herr filed against his siblings and step-mother, Susana Muncsh Herr after Jacob, Sr., died in 1916. It appears the suit was to have a share of his father's fortune, which they noted estimated at $48,000.00. I checked an inflation calculator just to see how much that would be worth in today's terms, and it came up to $950,000.00. So, yes, I can see why he was fighting for this nearly $1 million dollar fortune his father left behind. The motive, though, is not clearly stated. Was he cut out of the will somehow? Were one of his brothers, who he was in business with, mis-use the family earned fortune from their Merchantile business for their own use?

I also noticed that there had been a prenuptial agreement made between Jacob, Sr. and Susana Muncsh at the time they were married in 1913 and that she had agreed to not gaining the estate but would in turn get about $2500 at the time of his death. I suppose having about that much back then would equal to about $20,000 in today's terms which would have been plenty for her to live off of.

Anyway, back to my Great, Great grandfather Jacob, Jr. It seems there was some sort of motive behind his disappearance/death, but it's hard to say who, what, how and where it happened?

Part of me wonders, also, did Jacob Herr want to leave his family and live a life somewhere else? Did he change his name and move to another place and live a separate life?

It's hard to say what happened, but this is one mystery I wish I could solve.

Family History Findings November/December

2010-11-26T10:14:00.000-08:00

Hello all. Just a quick blurb on some more family history, this time more on my side of the family, the Loftin/Connors side. Please see below:

Loftin/Connors Family - While having Thangsgiving dinner with my grandmother last night, she began describing more about her childhood in North Dakota and when things changed when the Depression began.

Her father began working for the WPA during the '30s to get additional work. When work with the WPA ended, he began finding more work in Oregon with a family who were originally from Wishek.

My grandmother also mentioned a story that all sort of interweaves with one another, so it maybe a little long, but here goes.

My Great, Great Grandfather was a cattle tradesman who would travel by train with his own caboose of cattle and as she said, carried only cash with him. He'd make trips to Chicago to do the trades. One year, I believe in the 1930's, Jacob Herr went missing. Private investigators were hired, Police looked for any remnants of Jacob's body, but he was never found. My Great, Great grandmother was left behind with 3 young children that they still were raising. They lived in one of the larger homes in Wishek due to him being a partner in the family Merchantile business. Unfortunately, Jacob's brothers and family didn't want him around anymore and kicked out Christina Herr out of her home and sold all her furniture.

Christina then lived with her eldest daughter, Lydia, as she had no where to go. Lydia is my Great Grandmother. Lydia had a large family of her own, but luckily she had a large enough home to house Christina and Lydia's remaining brothers and sisters. Then, just when it seemed things couldn't get any worse, a tornado hit town and wiped out the tents of the CCC workers. The family had to take in some of these workers, who were no sooner then sleeping in the family and living room.

My grandmother then went on to say that two of the men from the CCC happened to marry two of her sisters later on.

The case of my missing great, great grandfather Jacob Herr, never was solved. What happened? Was he a casualty of crime ridden Chicago? Was there a family member involved? This is fairly sad it was never solved.

Favorite Holiday Memories

2010-11-23T12:21:00.000-08:00

Ever look back to the days when you went around, young and carefree, not having to worry about tomorrow. Well, let's say, for the most part, my childhood was mostly drama free. And, of course, some of my best memories always revolved around the holidays, spending all those special times with my cousins, whom, I was lucky, lived close enough for us to always be together almost every holiday.

Here are some of the memories or just random things that made the holidays so special for me:

1) The hunt for the Christmas Tree and Decorating - Every year, my Dad had to have a live Christmas tree and it had to be a Douglas fir. Nothing else! Our trees usually were about 6ft tall because we didn't have a real high ceiling at our home. I remember my Dad had a really specific way of getting the tinsel on the tree. He didn't want my brother and I clumping it on one branch, lol. It had to be nice and evenly dispersed. I look back on this and think how funny it was when my brother and I would accidently clump the tree with tinsel. We also had our array of "special" ornaments, the ones that had been in our family for many years. My father had the kind from the 1950's that when it got warm from the christmas tree lights, a piece of metal inside would turn around. We also had a plastic Snoopy ornament, and another one that I loved, which had two sides to it: One kid was outside looking into a window of a friend's home and when you turned the ornament, you could see the other friend from the inside. I am hoping that ornament is still around nearby. I miss gazing into it.

We also had the special topping for the tree, a 1950's blue Christmas Angel my father inherited. I will never forget her. And, again, wonder where she is. I know we have her packed somewhere.

Our Christmas tree lights were not the miniature lights you always see now, they were the actual lights that the bulbs were about the size of a night light bulb and they were the different colors. I look back on that now and am surprised we were still using those even well into the early '90s. We still have them somewhere, too, but I think they no longer work.

A few years, we attempted to add in a train that goes around the tree and the little Christmas village around it. The year we finally got it right, in which my Dad actually built a platform for it to go around the tree, then our cat kept on deciding to climb up the tree and knock it down and smashing it into the train. I loved that train, though, it even lit up in areas where the fake coal area looked like it was actually on fire.

Some of our most treasured Christmas decor were items that I am still trying to remember before I forget them. We had a really pretty set of angels that looked to be in the style of Berta Hummel and imitated the look of tusk. I really loved those and, again, am not sure where they're at as of now.

Some of my favorite memories of getting the Christmas tree was going to Pete's Tree World, which they started out right across the street of Los Medanos College, on the corner of Leland and Delta Faire Blvd, where the rental car place is now. Then they moved across the street. Then a new tree place in town outbid them on the land, so Pete's has now had to move across from Highway 4 nearing the entrance to where Home Depot is.

Nevertheless, my favorite part was going inside the area where they flocked the trees with the fake snow. It was so wonderous for me as I never had been to the snow, so this was the closest it felt to me to be in real snow. I would often just walk around and stare at all the pretty trees, covered in fake snow, dreaming of a snow filled Christmas day that still has never happened to this day in Antioch, California.

2) Outdoing the Neighbors on Christmas Lights - We didn't do a lot for Christmas lights untl the early '90s, when miniature lights started becoming the norm, and less expensive, as they weren't as cheap as they are now. We usually just hung up the one long strand along the gutter, which were also the same kind we had on the tree. My brother and I were too young to want to do more until we starting seeing other houses really starting to outdo one another. Then our neighbor (and my best friend at the time) started really adding in a lot of lights. So then we started adding a little more. Then they'd go buy those lights that lit up with messages. Then we decided we needed those, too. Then they started buying Santa Claus to go up on the roof, then my Dad advised we needed a Santa Claus on the roof. No, oops, it was actually a Snow man my Dad made out of old golf clubs and hanger wire, wrapping lights around it. Wow, I just remembered that! What a great memory to remember. We also put wrapping paper around our entire garage. That was a lot of work! In the end, I think both our houses were quite unique and we got quite a lot of compliments from passerbys.

More memories to come...

Honoring our Veterans today...

2010-11-11T23:02:00.000-08:00

Who have you been priveliged to know who's been in the U.S. Armed forces?

This runs deep in our family, as many of our family members have served. The following have served in our family:

Aunt Diane - Air Force (Medic/Vietnam Era)
Cousin Michael Shelton - Navy (Pilot/Current Era)
Dad - Navy (Nursing/Vietnam era)
Grandpa Loftin - Marines (World War II)
Step Grandpa Purviance - Merchant Marines (WW II, Korea and Vietnam)
Grandpa Connors - Merchant Marines (WW II)
Uncle Terry - Navy (Vietnam)
Great Uncle George Roehm, Jr. - Army - (WW II)
Great Uncle Alwin Roehm - Army - (WW II)
Great, Great Uncle Fred Roehm - (WW I)
Great Grandpa William Murphy (married my Great Grandma Lydia when my real Grandpa died in the late 1940s - (WW I)

Here are a few photos of them in uniform:

Grandpa Vibert Purviance

Great Grandpa Murphy - World War I

Great Uncle Alwin Roehm with my Grandma, Annette, wearing Alwin's hat

Uncle Terry Connors - My Mother's brother, in Navy uniform, early 1970's.

World War II Memorial, Washington, D.C. - Photo taken by Cooper, October 2009

Family History Findings - October/November

2010-10-29T23:08:00.000-07:00

Like my previous post, this one will be similar to it in format. This month proved to unravel a lot of mystery on my boyfriend's mother's side of the family. I am still stuck in some spots, but made huge leaps in other parts. Let's start with his family first:

Cooper Family History - Marris

My thirst to know more about the origin of the Marris family, led me to further find more records. This led me to find out how (and most importantly, why) Henry Marris decided to move to Canada. It kept bothering me that what led a man to up and leave England and leaving his family behind. Something must've prompted him. I decided to start searching England's own census records. I couldn't believe it, I found him, and his entire family in the 1851 England Census, including the actual address they lived at, which was at Vicars Lane, Louth, Lincolnshire, England. The census showed him as only 18mos at the time they took it, and his siblings - Sarah (b. 1839), Louisa (b. 1840), John (b. 1844) and Edward (b. 1847). Then, of course, it showed his parents as Albert & Sarah (Moncaster) Marris. It showed Albert's birth to be in London, Middlesex county, England. Yes, the real London :) Sarah was a native to Lincolnshire. Albert's occupation was shown as a Painter.

I then decided to find the 1861 Census. When I found it, I was surprised to find that the only people listed were Henry and Albert. Where did everyone go? I assummed a few of Henry's siblings grew up, but there were two others, John and Edward that weren't accounted for. John, it turns out, was okay and lived until 1916. But, I am curious to know what happened to Edward. Then, I looked at Albert's marriage status. It showed him as widowed. Sarah died just the year before. Little Henry Marris was only about 11 when she died.

Further records would then show that Albert Marris died just 7 years later, in 1868, when Henry was 18-19 years old. This made me realize that Henry must've felt a void in his life. Being the youngest, and his siblings grown and making their lives their own, Henry must've felt the urge to move on to a different life, maybe one without the sorrow and reminder of his deceased parents. When he was 24, he made the big move to Canada. He met and married Mary McCabe and the rest is history.

Now, a continuation on his own son's immigration story, I have found a record of Morley Marris' immigration to the United States and the actual day and place he entered. Crazy, huh? Morley Marris officially immigrated to the States on Nov. 24th, 1919 at Rouses Point, New York. I wonder if he got to have his first Thanksgiving around that time?

Do you want to see Morley's signature?

See it below:

This record shows where he was living at the time (circa 1930), where he worked, the address of his place of work, and his signature at the bottom right corner. His wife's name is mentioned 4 lines above his signature.

Loftin/Connors Family History - Stegeman (Great Grandfather George Roehm's mother's maiden name)

I am a sucker for snooping out the more obscure side of our family. On my mother's side, her maternal Grandfather George Roehm lost his mother, Rebecca Stegeman Roehm, when young. She died due to poor ventillation living in a sod house in the prairie. Yet, she left behind many children and his father Karl Roehm must've not had a lot of money, but luckily the Roehms knew the Herr family who were more well off, due to owning a Merchantile store in town.

Back to Rebecca Stegeman, I always wondered about her since none us knew too much about her since she died when the Roehm children were all fairly young. Her memory seemed to have been forgotten since none of her grandchildren knew her. So, I decided to learn more about her by finding records online.

I found that she was born in Germany, although I am not exactly sure what part. Her father, Jurgen (or Gurgen) also was born in Germany. As was her mother, Margaretha Raap. Although the place of departure to America for them was from Breman, Germany, that is the only place I can identify her father with at this point. I may need to look at some German records to find exactly where he's from, but this means I'll need to read German, which starts making it tricky!

Margaretha Rapp, though, I have more information on. She was born in Hasenfleth, Niedersachsen, Germany, just north of Hamburg. So, this may help narrow down exactly where Jurgen may have originated from. Breman, just so happens to be slightly west of Niedersachsen.

So, some interesting information has come forth.

I also have an image of the ship that Jurgen and his family came on from Germany to America in the 1880's. The ship was called the Fulda:

The Vintage Styles - My Family

2010-10-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

Who would ever think your own family could actually make some fashion statements? I look back on some photos of my family members and think to myself, "Wow, they were stylin'"

I dedicate this blog post to my family from past to present, who have stuck out from the crowd!

1910's

<-- Great, Great Aunt Lucy Roehm (My Great Grandfather's sister) and

Great, Great Aunt Martha Herr (My great grandmother's sister) - North Dakota, 1916-1917

These looks are very reminiscent of what Russians wore during the late 1910's, which was when this picture was taken. If you look at what the Russian Royal Family, The Romonavs, wore during their hiding while Russia was being taken over by the Bolsheviks, you can see some strong resemblance to the styles. Please see some samples below:

Anastasia Romanov with her brother, late 1910's

(Tatiana Romanov with Father and Soldier, circa late 1910's)

I often wonder if this was a Russian style passed on to other Russian Families. The reason I bring this up is that my great Grandmother's German family lived in Russia for over 100 years before they moved to America. They were called the Black Sea Germans, since most of them settled near the Black Sea. A part of me wonders if they adopted some Russian lifestyle, including fashion, being they were fairly far away from their true homeland. This little hat definitely seems distinctly Russian and I can see the same use of it in the photos of my German/Russian family while living in North Dakota.
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My Great, Great Aunt Lucy Roehm, circa 1915 (age 17)

Lucy smiled with confidence. I really like this about her. Her father was from Oldenburg, Germany (northern Germany) and her mother's side was from southern Germany (Stegeman family). She posed often in photos. I wish I could share more, as my family members loved to be in front of the camera, showing off their new duds. I love her hat in this photo, along with the long coat and white skirt. Very fashion forward for her time.

Great, Great Aunt Martha Herr (Werre), circa 1916.

Martha, I find, often posed quite a bit. She seemed to dress, as one would say, the most put together of all the family members. She'd accessorize, as such in this photo, wearing a hairband, using a fan for style, wearing a long necklace and heals. Again, she was making a statement with her style. Maybe she wanted to dress as if she had more money than her family really did. Yet, when she married, she was pretty well off with Mr. Werre.

Some Great Movies!

2010-10-17T22:01:00.000-07:00

Some movies are just great to watch over and over again. What are some of your favorites? Here are a few of mine:

Stand By Me (1986) - LOVE River Phoenix in this one. He was so ahead of his time. I love the song, too, as it's probably in my top ten of favorite songs.

Breaking Away (1979) This is a great coming of age movie, and it makes Bloomington, Indiana look quite attractive.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) - I remember first watching this when I was about 16. Then I watched it again about 4 or 5 years later and was in love with it. Just a fun movie for the times.

Moonstruck (1987) - I have appreciated this movie more and more as the years have passed on. I remember it being very popular at the theatre and as a video rental. It's romantic, funny and yet moves fast.

Love in the Afternoon (1957) - It's funny, but this may very well be my favorite Billy Wilder film, even over Sabrina! This movie grew on me, but I guess I tend to love Audrey movies that are lesser known. I think this is one of her most underrated films. She does a great job in it. The ending is so romantic, too!

My Favorite Rock Gods

2010-10-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

Okay, so every girl has got a crush on at least one rock star? Well, the 60's, 70's and 80's (okay, even a few '90s) stars fit that bill. Some may not ALL be rock related (maybe a little country, too), but nevertheless, they're not bad to look at!

Here's a few worth checking out:

Benjamin Orr (from The Cars) - I used to think the guy in the "Drive" video was pretty cute, but didn't know who he was until maybe the last few years. Kinda a more sensitve rock god. He actually died several years ago. Rest in peace, Benjamin!

Joe Strummer - He's a very charismatic person and for some reason, I find him really hot, lol I like his hair, his smile, his eyes - There's some kind of warmth in him, that despite him being a tough guy, he still is a teddy bear deep down inside. Check out this video promoting a documentary on him.

Derek Holt - He's not really a "rock" god, per se, but I think he's pretty cute, especially in the following song, "I Love You" (one of my favorite songs) He belonged to the mildly successful group, Climax Blues Band.

It's funny how we can be attracted to some of these somewhat obscure people. None of these people are probably considered sexy to the standards of other rock stars like Bon Jovi or Bruce Springsteen, but they define my kind of sexy.

Family History Findings for September/October

2010-10-12T23:17:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd keep tabs of my family history findings as part of my blog. I love the stories that unravel as I find new documents involving my family and my boyfriend's family. I will list it first by the family it's under (either it will be Loftin/Connors or Cooper/Marris), and then the surname that I have currently been researching and a paragraph on my findings.

New Findings for My Family:
Loftin/Connors

Rainwater - I have been trying to dig deeper into my Father's roots. We've always known we have Cherokee/Osage blood in us, but the mystery of just how much has proved elusive. My Great Grandmother Clara Rainwater Loftin, as far as I've known, was a half-breed. Half Irish/English and half Cherokee/Osage, but it seems a little too cookie cutter for her to be split so evenly. I have a feeling she was not as much Cherokee/Osage as we've thought. And, from my findings, I can't find a trace of Osage in our lineage. Yet, in the past, that lineage has been confirmed by fellow family historians, so I may just need to go to them directly to find out how we came up with us having Osage in us. In the meantime, I have been able to find a fantastic photo of my Great, Great Grandfather Robert Rainwater, sitting in the middle of two women sometime in the 1880's or early 1890's.

Please find it here:

New Findings for Boyfriend's Family:

Cooper/Marris

Marris - Since my boyfriend's mother is deceased, it is exceedinly difficult to find many documents on her side of the family. Yet, I have been able to find more information than I really ever thought I would. Firstly, I found that my boyfriend's mother, Dorothy Marris, was born in Brooklyn, but raised in Queens, New York City, New York. Her mother died when she was young. I've often thought if this is why she joined the Air Force in the late '40s, in some way to maybe escape her home life and see the world. By joining the Air Force, she then was stationed at Camp Stoneman in Pittsburg, CA.

But, going back further, is where things, to me, get really interesting! I had heard through my boyfriend that he thought he had some Jewish lineage in him, but again, I had no way of really knowing if he was just saying that or if he really did know. Well, turns out some records do show that his mother (Dorothy) was, in fact, born to a woman who's mother was from Germany; her father looks to have been born in New York. I only have her first name at this time, which is Margaret. I still have not been successful in finding Margaret's maiden name, which would then lead me to many more records on that side of the family.

Yet, unbeknownst to me at the time, as I continued researching, is records began to pop up that Dorothy's father was indeed a Canadian, born in Hamilton, Ontario (Near Buffalo, New York) Again, things got interesting once more! Dorothy's father was named Morley Reginald Marris and was born in 1894 to Henry Marris and Mary (McCabe) Marris. Morley's father was straight from England. So, my boyfriend's grandfather was half English and possibly half Irish (depending on the meaning behind the last name McCabe). Other sources say that both Morley's parents were born in England, so I will need to confirm this.

As Morley grew up, he had two older sisters named Ethel and Shirley. He then joined the Canadian Military prior to World War I, and is listed as previously being a part of 13th Royal Rgt for 3 years (pte). I am not sure what this means, but will look into it. It looks like he was recruited for World War I service, but am unsure of how he served as no new records have popped up. Some vital stats show that he was 5 feet 8 and 3/4 inches. It is noted he had grey colored eyes and brown hair with fair skin.

According to my next source, a 1920 Census shows that Morley was a lodger in a Manhatten Hostel or something similar. Between this time and 1924, he met married Margaret and had a child in 1924 named Audrey. During this time, he secured work at a bank on 5th Ave in Manhatten. It appears they had a fairly comfortable living, yet they did seem to move several times before Dorothy was born in Brooklyn, but then appears to settle in Queens in a quiet neighborhood. Records also show that Morley was recruited for World War II service in the states, but he must've been too old at the time, being almost in his '50s. Morley died in Flushing, Queens, NYC, NY in 1962, a year before my boyfriend was born. His older daugther died fairly young in or around 1980. Dorothy followed in 1990. Unfortunately, since Dorothy's parents never had a son, there is really no one to carry on the Marris name from Morley's branch of the Marris family. As they say, the buck stops here.

More findings coming soon...

Some New (and Old Music) I've Been Enjoying

2010-10-11T23:26:00.000-07:00

I have some new (and old) discoveries that I've been enjoying. Please check them out:

Grenade - Bruno Mars

After All - Cher and Peter Cetera (from the band Chicago)

Love Will Find A Way - Pablo Cruise

(Just Like) Starting Over - John Lennon

This song really is so true for relationships that have endured many years together. It's too bad John Lennon died right before this song became a hit in early 1981.

Hard To Say I'm Sorry - Chicago (feat. Peter Cetera)

I've seen Chicago twice in concert, and just love it when this song is performed each time. It's not so much the message I like, but just the melody and the way it's sung. This song also came out the year I was born.

Death and a Zoo - Roder Hodgsen (from the group Supertramp)

This is such an odd name for a song, but the melody kept haunting me after I heard it. The ending doesn't quite fit the beginning, and it keeps getting stranger, lol. Roder Hodgsen just has one of those voices, too, that stays with you long after you've heard him sing. If you're not very familiar with Supertramp, their 1979 album "Breakfast in America" will get you hooked on them. Plus, you'll hear the MUCH better version of "Give A Little Bit," performed by them rather than the mediocre version done by the Goo Goo Dolls, most recently.

Return to Innocence - Enigma

Just recently, I found a photo of my great, great grandfather who was born on a Cherokee reservation near Tennessee, and he was so young. The only picture I saw of him prior to this was when he was in his '90s. It reminded me that he once was a young, handsome man in his day. He lived a long life, starting his life in 1860 before the Civil War started and the ending of it in 1953. This song reminds me of my Cherokee heritage, although I am not sure what tribe this chant belongs to, I still find it a homage to a part of my heritage that is slipping away.

Pondering Question: Why do we blog?

2010-10-04T23:16:00.000-07:00

I ask myself this often. Why do I blog? Especially since I know that hardly anyone is really reading this blog, makes it even stranger. Yet, part of it is all about expression. As humans, expression is important to us, whether it be artistically, cooking a good meal, reading and discussing a good book, playing music or being social - we just can't help but be expressive.

For me, my blog is a way of talking about things that I don't have to bore others with in real life. A true outlet. An open-book journal and a not-quite-so-much diary. But, it's true, few want to hear my nagging thoughts. Probably few want to know my rants about why am I sick again for the umpteenth time nor do some really care why some of my favorite '80s shows are no longer on air. Yet, my blog might strike a chord with a few out there who may be looking for a similar point of view, and I like the fact that maybe my blog might bring back some memories for someone who may just run across it by accident.

Maybe someday my blog will be found by a relative of mine and they'll learn the inner workings of who I was. Sort of an epitaph to my demise.

Why do you blog?

New Month Ahead

2010-10-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

I love October. I remember when I was around 12, I decided it was my favorite month out of the whole year. Although October brings on the feeling of death around us, due to all the dead leaves and spooky Halloween, I can't help but love the feeling this month gives me. It begins to get that nice crisp smell in the air, you can smell the aroma of homebaked meals being cooked, you can catch a few harvest moons, curl up in a warm blanket and watch some cuddle up kind of movies. Drink a warm cup of hot chocolate. Nothing is quite better than this. Last year, when we were visiting Virginia, my Aunt was kind enough to loan out her car to Cooper and I so we could visit some of the neat surroundings around Fredericksburg. Oh, what a great time to be in a Confederate town. It was very eerie. The weather was somewhat glum, but it added to the spookieness of it all. One thing that stood out was one house that was decorated in a bunch of pumpkins. Some were hanging from the eves, some were on the ground. It was very eye catching. The house was old, too, so it fit the spooky feeling perfectly.

October also includes some of my favorite people's birthdays. For one, my boyfriend's birthday lands on October 9th, which also happens to be John Lennon's birthday. I am still trying to think of something unique for my boyfriend, but whew, it's hard to buy for men. I've tried everything, from buying him a unique plant species one year to just getting him some moccasin slippers to keep his feet warm in the morning. This year (shhh.. don't tell) I am thinking of purchasing him a $50 Southwest giftcard to go towards a flight. I am thinking of purchasing a second one for Christmas. That would likely pay for more than half his ticket if we went sometime in March or April to NYC. I saw that tickets were $164 each, add in some taxes and it's probably about $350.00, so I guess less than half, lol. Wow, these things add up. And, here I have a free ticket all ready to use. Hopefully there will be a really awesome deal coming up for NYC. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

This month is also the celebration of my niece's first birthday. I can't tell you how happy I am to have her in our lives. She is such a happy baby. Full of smiles. She just got her two upper teeth and she's got the cutest gap between them. Sometimes, she'll just give you this giddy smile, her eyes bright and happy and giggle. We are actually going to her 1st birthday party tomorrow. And, I get to photograph it! Yay!

I am still trying to drum up business each day, but the last few weeks have been too busy to get in as deep as I was a few weeks prior to that. Work has been busier due to renewing accounts and unfortunately, a lot of my thought and time the last week or so has been geared towards that. I was also sick with a cold about 2 1/2 weeks ago. Now my boss has it. Poor guy!

Yet, on October 16th, I am looking forward to going up to Healdsburg, CA (I'm in Walnut Creek) to do a photoshoot of a winery called Moniclaire at their Harvest time Festival. My mom's best friend from High School owns it. She was kind enough to let me come up during this time of year. I am also trying to book something else while up there, but no one is taking the bait ... yet. If nothing else gets booked, then I will be okay with that. I think Cooper and I need a good vacation. We've been sick, overworked and burned out. We need some time to rest the mind, mostly, and body, secondly.

I am sure as the end of October comes around, we'll have something fun for Halloween to do. Now, just what it will be, I am not sure.

Happy Hauntings, fellow bloggers!

Kristen

Ken Burn's The 10th Inning & My Love for America's Past Time

2010-09-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

The last few nights I have been able to catch Ken Burn's take on the continuation of his famous documentary, Baseball, called The 10th Inning. Watching it brought back memories of a time when I was growing up. His original Baseball documentary was great, but this was an era that I did not grow up in and so the players, besides Babe Ruth, Dimaggio and Mickey Mantle, seemed more foreign to me. Watching this more current rendition pretty much spanned my entire history of being a baseball fan. No wonder I got sucked in so easily. Each event was as if it happened yesterday.

When I was growing up, I had a brother who loved baseball. I also had a Dad who was a sport lover. They both still love their sports. My Dad still golfs whenever he gets the chance. He's been golfing for as long as I can remember. He also played basketball, football, baseball, softball and tennis.

In order to fit in with my brother and his friends, I would try to buy baseball cards at the baseball card shops and sometimes I'd end up getting some pretty good ones and my brother's friends wanted to trade with me. Ha, I had no idea what I was trading. I'd get like a vintage Topps Nolan Ryan card and be like, "Oh, who's this guy?"

Each Christmas, my brother would mostly get baseball or basketball related items. He'd get Bo Jackson memorabilia, baseball bats and mitts, and those giant collections of Topps or Donruss or Upper Deck baseball cards.

Since my close proximity to Oakland, Calif., the Oakland A's have been the team I've followed ever since the Bash Brothers (Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire) became hugely famous.

The poster to the left is the exact same poster my brother had hanging in his room. Now that I am older, I can see they were doing a take on the "Blues Brothers." Back then I didn't know that.

As the A's became more popular due to their World Series showings in 1989 and 1990, no wonder I'd become a fan. I went to my first baseball game in 1991. It was the first time I'd experienced a Carnation ice cream treat. I still crave these and get them when I go to the baseball games. I remember watching Mark Mcgwire from the 1st base side. My brother specifically want to sit near 1st base so we could watch McGwire, who was a 1st baseman.

I don't remember much about the game. I remember coming home around twilight time and talking to our neighbor, who was also a huge A's fan. She really liked the closer, Dennis Eckersley.

The A's, though, hit a slump in the early '90s and they were needing to rebuild the team because most of the best players were retiring or being traded. During this time, it was hard to follow them because they'd lost a lot of their prestige. Ricky Henderson was gone by 1993 and that was another blow to a club that was hurting. Then, in 1996, Tony La Russa left as manager. That was a big blow, as who was going to fill his shoes? And, still worse, Mark McGwire went with him, to the St. Louis Cardinals. Yet, my brother never lost faith, still watching every game. During this time between 1992-1997, basketball was more of an interest for me and I still do love basketball. The Warriors were having some exciting players come and go, such as Tim Hardaway, Mitch Richmond and Chris Mullin. Chris Webber had a stellar Rookie year in 1994, which was a great distraction due to the baseball strike. It was a good time for our local basketball team to come to the forefront when baseball was on the backburner.

When basketball began losing momentum in the late '90s and early 2000's, I began to go back to my love of baseball, deciding to watch a few games here and there. All of the sudden, towards the post-season of 2000, I became hooked on it. The A's had one of the most exciting rosters in years. They had three great pitchers in Tim Hudson, Mark Mulder and the Rookie, Barry Zito (below). I loved them all, but Barry Zito was my man. He still is, although he's on the Giants now. I still have a soft spot for Tim Hudson, though. He was great to watch. He had that "Bulldog" style. And, to be honest, pitchers are more my kind of player. They really have control of the game.

During this time, my brother taught me the ins and outs of the game, how to read the stats in the newspaper, how to understand what the commentators were talking about. It taught me a great deal how to visualize the game when it was aired on the radio, I could picture everything.

We started going to games together. I went to a few games with my Dad on fireworks nights, too. I went to games with my mom by ourselves, once taking the wrong BART train to get there and stuck in a not so savory Oakland BART station.

One game my brother and I went to ended up being an uncharacteristically hot day in Oakland. We got so sunburned that we had blisters on our skin. I believe that's considered 2nd degree burn. haha, but coming home from BART and then getting in my brother's hot, 1978 Ford Courier, non-air-conditioned truck, we kept telling ourselves, it was still worth it, because that was a good game!

This baseball season I also got to go to a few more night games with my Aunt and visiting cousins from back east. It was another fireworks night and for those who sit at the very top seats, ohh, what did they call that, Mt. something, well, those who were way at top were in danger of getting the fireworks on them, so they let those people come down on the grass to watch. Well, even though we were way up there, we kinda acted like we were and packed ourselves like sardines into the entrance into the field. It was such a wonderful feeling to lie on the grass, to feel the dirt, to go look at the dugout. And, then seeing all the big lights surrounding us after the fireworks were over. What a great time and experience!

This season (2001), however, changed dramatically after September 11th. We didn't have baseball for about a week, and that felt like an eternity for me. The A's were about to head into the playoffs, against our favorite East Coast rival, the New York Yankees.

We lost to them, bitterly. It was hard fought. The image below was the defining moment that changed the whole outcome of the series. Jermaine Dye fouled a ball off his knee and broke his leg. The A's couldn't make up for the loss of losing Jermain Dye. My heart sunk when this happened. It was one of the most dramatic playoff games I'd ever seen.

The season was over after so many ups and downs, we had lost to the Yankees. I couldn't watch anymore after that. I was too heartbroken.

Yet, after months of no baseball, by April 2002, I was back and ready for another season of watching my favorites. 2002 proved to be another stellar year for the A's. The highlight of this season was their 20 game winning streak, a record that still stands for the American League. Again, the A's hit post-season and lost again, to more drama with the Yankees. Yeah, I am NOT a fan of the Yankees. They hurt my A's too many times and have taken our players away from us too many times.

My love for baseball has not been quite the same since the A's have broken apart and many of the players I knew during these high profile seasons are no longer on the team. This does not mean I don't get a fluttering feeling when I see them on TV. I just need to reaquaint myself with the new roster.

I will always be an ardent baseball fan. Once life settles for me a little more, I am going to get right back into it. I love my Oakland A's, and that will never stop :)

Confidence!

2010-09-26T21:41:00.000-07:00

I am not one who has the world's largest self-esteem, but more and more I am finding this quality attractive in others and I believe they're rubbing off on me, each and every day. My sister-in-law is one who challenges me. I appreciate her exuberance, more and more. She always has a positive slant on things that I might see as negative. No wonder my brother loves her so much!

I am finding that confidence is definitely earned over time, as we get older and wiser with our decisions. Life is here to challenge us. Relationships challenge us, our jobs challenge us, our colleagues challenge us, our friends challenge us and our romantic partners challenge us. Cooper challenges me in so many ways. He's opened doors to me I probably would have never opened had we not met.

I remember my brother challenging me to be on time at my job at the newspaper. Ever since then, I have never been late to almost anything (that I have control over). Even my last days at the newspaper, I would come in early in order to make my goal. My adjustment rate and call time decreased dramatically. People near me were challenging me to be better at my job. Joan and Nina maintained high standards in their work, and working between them challenged me to be more efficient at ending calls quicker, taking charge of them faster and upselling people better. Being around those who challenge us is important. It can be a little scary, but it's important for us to go outside our boundaries and be open to these challenges.

Here are a few quotes to keep our confidence in tact:

- Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. ~Wendy Wasserstein

- I am not a has-been. I am a will be. ~Lauren Bacall

- Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong. ~Peter T. Mcintyre

- You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
You are the guy who'll decide where to go.
~Dr. Seuss

- Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control. ~Richard Kline

- Anyone who ever gave you confidence, you owe them a lot. ~Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1958, spoken by the character Holly Golightly

Sincerely,
Kristen

Taking a time out

2010-09-26T00:12:00.000-07:00

I realize I have been on the computer more and more lately, and I feel that I need a time out from it. I don't come on the computer to game like some people do. I don't come on to chat or skype or twitter. I do have a love/hate relationship with Facebook, but am trying to ween myself off of it. I think what keeps me on the PC is the endless possibilities of researching anything and everything I've ever wanted to know, and for someone who's a part Gemini, that's certainly an exhilerating thing! But, then, my Taurus side wants to step away from the fast pace of the Information highway and just "be." Just imagine what I could do without being on the computer:

1) Write to loved ones and friends (real, handwritten letters - not e-mails)
2) Clean my car out
3) Read some novels and biographies that I've half finished (I need these to escape from reality once in awhile.)
4) Sew that Chanel inspired fabric I got a few weeks ago into something wonderful and unique
5) Visit friends I haven't seen in months or even years!
6) Draw and paint
7) Drive around aimlessly
8) Listen to the radio, instead of my iPod
9) Design a family heritage book and find photos to make copies of
10) Organize and clean the house
11) Clean up the backyard
12) Workout to my videos
13) Spend time with my significant other
14) Plan a trip soon to use up my free Southwest roundtrip tickets
15) Read my camera's handbook and the speedlight handbook (not so fun, but my camera has some major arsenal that I still haven't learned about yet!)

From now on, I am going to resist the temptation of staying on here except to do business and the occasional e-mails to friends and family. I am going to manage my time at home as if I managed it the same way at my job. I think at my current job, I am finally getting into a routine that finally works. I tried different ways, but the current one seems to be keeping me up to pace with all the tasks I am handed.

My job is certainly not as difficult as Jamie's position, but I like to help keep everything in an order that helps keep the office running more smoothly. For one, I don't like to see the mail pile up. If it does, in the past, it was easy to overlook cancellation notices. Now, when the mail comes in, I look for cancellation notices within the day that my boss brings the mail load in. I've learned the hard way from not doing this or overlooking it by accident. It's so easy for those darned notices to slip between other papers.

The above was just an example of how keeping our office running better will be well applied at home, as well. For example, my medical bills are easy to misplace. When I get them in the mail, I am often quite bummed to even see them. I really just want to ignore them, asking myself, "Will they ever go away?" I see one doctor, but I get three different lab bills. Why does my labwork go to three different labs? I am still wondering this?

It's hard to look back and see how we conducted our lives before the internet. What would we do late at night? I suppose read a good book or watch a good movie. Some may prefer to drink and smoke at a local bar. Maybe the internet is a better alternative to that. Unless you smoke and drink while you're on the internet, lol.

Either way, it's time to be less sedentary and be on the move. I am ready for that change!

Kristen

We Must Thank Our Lucky Stars.... & Scientists!

2010-09-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

I am not one to usually wallow in misery of being sick, but it is quite amazing what we're up against our whole lives and that the quote of "survival of the fittest," really can't be denied. We fend off so many viruses and infections, it's really amazing to think about it. I've been up against quite a few, that if not for modern medicine, I'd probably would have been dead if I were living even just 60 years ago.

Here are just a few things my body has put up against over the years:

1. Congenital Non-functioning Hypothyroidism - This is a congenital disease, and well, I'd likely be a goner by now if it weren't for modern medicine. Without taking a tiny little pill since I was an infant, I'd probably die of heart failure or live with severely mental retardation. Thanks to my mother's intuition that I wasn't acting like a normal baby (I slept way too much and there were other symptoms). She had tests done on me which resulted I was living off her own supply of thyroid, but that it was diminishing a little more each week. It was confirmed that I had a thyroid that was not working. For the first ten years of life, I went to Dr. Braun at the Oakland Children's Hospital to have yearly check ups. I was always afraid to go, because I knew they were going to draw my blood, but once it was over, I'd always wonder why I was so worked up over it. I eventually got quite a resistance of my blood being taken ever since then.

2. The Year I Got Tonsilitis 3 Times - I can't believe I got tonsilitis so much. My doctor warned my mother that if I got it one more time, the tonsils were coming out. Ohh, I was so scared! But, luckily, I have not gotten it again!!

3. The Year I Got Scarlet Fever - Ohh, I don't remember much about it, except a rash and feeling pretty awful. My grandmother had this in her youth while living in 1930's North Dakota. Due to the fever, it stunted one of her legs just ever so slightly. She also was forced to drink Castor Oil to reduce her fever. Her brothers and sisters pinned her down. It saved her life.

My bout of Scarlet fever was not as dramatic. Thanks to penicillin, I just took the liquid form of an antibiotic and beat it.

4. The Year of My First Surgery - I had my first surgery in the form of gum surgery when I was ten years old. Of course, my nervous self couldn't sleep that night, although I'd taken half a valium and had my cousin Tiffany to sleep over. We even camped out in my brother's bedroom. To no avail, I was really nervous about it. The next day, the dentist numbed me up big time and then started on the grafting. I kept telling him how happy I was that I didn't feel anything. I was even laughing. He had to tell me to not talk or laugh anymore. The aftermath was more painful and awkward. I had to have this plaster mold over my teeth and foil over that to protect it and let it heal. I couldn't eat much due to the healing process. It all eventually worked out. This was mainly done so I could have braces. A spot where some of my teeth would be shifting had not enough gum for it, so I needed a gum graft. Oh, what we go through!!

5. The Year I Got My First Ear Infection - Talk about one of the worst in my life. Ear infections have a lot more to do with your whole body than just your ears. Having an ear infection feels like the flu, the cold and probably other viruses/infections all rolled up in one. I don't even wish these on my worst enemy. My hearing is still not the same from this first infection. My ears still pop everytime I swallow. It's been 9 years, and I still have these problems. But, you live with them and it's strange how you eventually forget how things used to be. If only I could remember how much better my hearing was before this infection, then I might be a little angry. Probably the worst part of this infection is that you get fluid in your ears, which then cause a form of tinnititis (ringing in the ear). If you move your head back and forth, you hear the fluid move back and forth. You then feel your equilibrium off due to all this fluid in your ear. Then your ear canal ruptures. Yeah, this is extremely painful and the sad part is you have really know idea when it will happen. But, once that fluid starts pouring out.. oh, the relief! Sounds disgusting, but yes, this is why I do not wish this on anybody because it is disgusting and gross and inhumane! I've had two more infections in the last 2 years and again, the pain has not lessoned. They are just as painful as the first one I had 9 years ago.

Haha, well, enough of my medical gripes, but it's really amazing what we've gone through as the human race and have survived.

May I toast to better health and more cures!

Sincerely,
Kristen